"I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul"
It was my eleventh shot now. I downed the next one without breathing. The colorless alcohol burned my throat mercilessly down to the pit of my stomach. I was at the bar, obviously. And just by myself. I went straight here after what just happened in Sarah and I's apartment, I had no where to go.
The cruel aftertaste of the liquid engulfed my mouth, I wanted to puke. My face was numb, I felt like I was floating. Out of all the things I wanted not to feel, the ache didn't leave me. I couldn't forget every single second I spent in there, listening to her and let my heart shuttered.
I may have not said anything, or protested when she said that she wanted to break up with me but deep inside I wanted to go on my knees, hold her hands and beg her not to leave me. I wanted to tell her how much I loved her and I had no idea how my life could be without her. I simply built this family inside of my heart, I wanted nothing else than her, forever.
Annnnd I was fucked, the woman of my life just well...fell out of love with me. It was true nothing from my mouth could change her mind, she made that decision, she made it very clear when gazed at me. She meant it.
The crowded place erupted with loud applause, they were cheering for the band.
"Next song is Beautiful Soul." The vocalist said, the guitarist started softly strumming her instrument. The mixologist handed me my order but I ignored him and focused on the song. I knew this one.
Are you really kidding me? This song was playing in the flower shop where I bought the flowers, this song was the one I sang to Sarah at the restaurant where we had our last date not long ago- she was so in loved with me at that moment, I could see it how her eyes never left me, how her lips formed a smile, how much she said she loved me. I don't understand why this is all happening now. And this one...it was playing on the radio of my car while I was on my way home earlier.
I was so in loved with her and she was too, she loved me. We were so madly in loved with each other. I didn't see this coming. Not now. Last night we were cuddling each other. We shared a kiss like never before. We made love, and I swear I could feel the genuine connection.
This doesn't all make sense.
"I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold, I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul..." Tears begun pouring out my tear ducts, it was inevitable. I didn't know that this song was my song for her until just now...now that she was gone.
I could no longer sing this for her, I could no longer hear her heartbeat going fast when I laid on her chest and sing this song and that just broke my again, it was double dead now. I some bills out of my wallet and placed it on the counter and just left the bar. I wasn't sober, I wasn't hammered either. Cold air brushed on my skin the moment I went out of the bar, the room temperature in there was hot, due the amount of people.
I wrapped my arms around me, this had to do for now. But my mind always wandered to her, how her touches was like and all of the things.
