This is a short fluff - not requested. I wrote this like weeks ago and I just found it in my document folder and thought of sharing it. Hope you like it.
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It sucks when you had a long day; a long tiring, full-of-shit kind of day where it feels like you're the most unlucky person to be breathing on this planet.
Out of the blue you just wanted to cry and yet no tears would fall down. It's like wanting to vent but finding no reason and strength at all to do such thing. You just feel it there laying in your chest and it's so heavy. So so heavy, an unexplainable shit that shouldn't even be there. You can't fake a smile, convince yourself to lift up your mood, can't feel any emotion – nothing and it's the worst thing that can happen.
It weighs you down until you feel so useless. It's crazy to think that an hour ago you seemed fine – not at your best but still okay.
It's like suddenly your world came crumbling down at your own feet and you can't do shit but watch it as dust arise in the air and no more lights flickering in hope – they just died.
It's tiring to be tired.
I was with a friend earlier, in a café packed of people having their best coffees and sharing stories – they had the biggest smiles on their faces. I sat opposite with her, she kept on blabbering the words and as much as I tried to focus and catch up with her I wasn't picking up on any of it. I just nodded as if I understood a word. I didn't know that was the start.
No one gave me heads up. Right there, I started losing myself.
Now here I am; walking. The sun's setting down and warm light touches my face, it looks beautiful, it's peaceful and calming. I stop walking, facing the direction of the sun and just continue to watch it as it emerge down – hiding behind mountains – see? Even the sun needs a rest and I need that so bad, like a whole 48 hours of sleep would be nice.
I have no idea how long I was standing there, after snapping out of it my whole surrounding is now darkened. Then I realize probably too long that when I came back to my senses it's already dark. As I came in my apartment, my body just fully surrender itself on the couch.
I still have my coat on, my bag and my shoes but the warmth and comfort of my couch is something that my body craves for and it's my duty to fulfill that need. "Too tired to acknowledge me, aren't you?" I could have fallen asleep already but that voice. My eyes begins to water as I pluck myself out of the couch, my bag drops on the floor with the loudest noise.
"Sari?" My dull and trembling voice sounds so pathetic and yet she smile that reaches her eyes when she heard my voice. God, I missed her. "It's you." As if it's not enough that I can see her standing in my kitchen with a water bottle in hand. "Hold me, please"
Now, I no longer longed for the warmth of my couch neither any comfort that this world could offer – I need hers. She's all I need. She calms me down and takes the bad cloud away. She's my sunshine in every storm there is. "My sweet girl." She mumbles burying her face on the crook of my neck and her arms wrapping tight against my torso. I can feel my feet detaching from the ground.
This is what happens when your significant other is taller than you and decided to give you a very tight hug. I'm not complaining though.
Soon we are in my bed, I have changed in my nightwear clothes that only consists of my baggy shirt and panties. It's comfortable that way plus when I'm around her I don't have to be anybody else. I can just be myself.
Sarah let me lay down on top of her, my head resting on her chest, her arm never leaving my body while her freehand keep on giving the back of my head a rub. She holds me tight as if letting me know how much she missed me from this past few weeks we had been apart. "Tough day?" the vibration on her chest when she speaks tickles me ear a bit that was pressed on her.
Something about her magically enticing smile and soft lips that makes all my insides melt into her.
"Not anymore." Then my lips starts to plant small kisses on her neck. My fingers begin to undo the knot on her blouse to expose a little bit more of her chest.
"How long are you staying?"
"As long as you want me too, babe."
"What? Are you for real? I mean what about your home in New York?"
"That's not a home..." she pauses for a bit, untangle her arm from my body and points her index finger on my chest, "-this, this is home, (y/n) wherever you are because you are my home." I cup Sarah's face and give her a long kiss in which it's gentle and delicate – it was so slow and magical.
"Stay with me, forever." I say in between kisses and she beams on my lips before pressing a kiss on the tip of my nose. "Then you have to marry me, babe." She chuckles and cocks her brows. I pull away and sit myself on the bed looking dumbstruck as ever.
I can swear that I didn't see my day ending to be like this, considering all the mishaps that occurred and the sudden changing of my mood. Then I found her in my kitchen without any texts coming from her that she would be coming. And now, I think she's proposing.
I watch her feet touch the floor and venture towards the small couch where her coat is laying then she took a box from its pocket. Before I know it, she's kneeling on the floor with the box open showing a diamond ring. "(y/n) (y/l/n), will you stay with me for eternity and be my wife for as long as I shall live." Oh God, what a time to be alive. Sarah restored the life in me. In no time I tackle her on the group peppering her face with kisses. "You know I do." I say and finally kissing her full lips.
"My soon to be Mrs. Paulson." she says making my stomach tingle.
"I like the sound of that." I commented giving her a cheeky grin. Surely it's something I've already dreamed of.
"Thank you, Sarah. For everything. Earlier I swear my life was in pieces but you showed up and glued them all together. I love you. You are my only reminder how beautiful my life is."
"And I love you too, (y/n) Paulson." and that is the best way to end this day. I'm happily engaged with the woman I love.
Sarah's my rock – my everything . She keeps my grounded when things stars to float. Sarah's always been there for me, guiding me, supporting me in everything I do. She was my bestfriend and now she's my lover and she's going to be my wife real soon.
