THE LOVECHILD Ft.Trey Songz

heart-attack.01

Together my four year old daughter and I walked into Wal-Mart hand in hand to do some grocery shopping. I didn't bother getting a shopping cart so that she can sit in because I figured that we wouldn't be in the store for long. I just came here to get a few items and be out and besides my money didn't run that long to buy everything that my heart desired. But, I did manage to snag a basket to hold my things.

The cool conditioned air slapped against my skin as we both entered. I took a look at the lines at the registers and shook my head. This was one of the many reasons why I hated going to this Wal-Mart. It was always packed and the lines were always too damn long. I walked past the lines with a basket in my hand and Rahji's hand in the other as we walked towards the milk section to get soy milk then off to get eggs and juice.

As the grocery piles up, I let go of Rahji's hand and told her to, "Keep up with mommy," because I couldn't both hold her hands and the heavy basket. She trailed behind me as I made a short cut through the toys section and went towards the cereal aisle. I grabbed a box of Quaker Oats Oatmeal you know the one with the many flavors in them and a box of Cream of Wheat, and then walked down a little to get a better look at all the different brands of cereal.

"Which cereal do you want this time, Rahji?" I asked her. I didn't get an answer and assumed that she was looking at the brands and trying to figure out which one would be her favorite this week. I grabbed my cereal choice Frosted Flakes and placed it in my basket, "Rahj," I said turning around and nearly had a heart attack looking all around me.

Tarahji wasn't in sight. "Oh, my gosh." I dropped the basket that had the groceries in them and immediately went in a frantic search for my little girl. I put my hands on the top of my head as I panicked. "I can't believe this shit." I cursed underneath my breath. "I specifically told her ass to keep close," I said talking to myself. The tears threatened to spill as I searched each aisle that I might've passed.

Lord, please don't let anything bad happens to my baby, I prayed. There were so many crazy people out here in this world and I didn't want her hurt or kidnapped. God, I didn't want that to happen. She is my heart. She is my everything. If anything happened to her I don't know what I would do with myself. She was the reason why I lived and did everything for. She was the only reason why I stand so strong today.

I continued to search pushing and shoving people out of the way. I got some obscenities and stares come my way, but I ignored them because the only thing that was important to me right now was my little girl. I saw a little boy coming from the toys aisle and then it hit me. I had taken a short cut threw there. She just has to be there. She just has to, I chanted hope in my head.

I stopped walking when I saw her curly hair and the pink babyphat shirt and jeans that I dressed her in prior to coming here. She was sitting on the floor playing with a Barbie doll in her hands. The tears that I had been holding in cascaded from my eyes down to my cheeks as I briskly walked towards her. "There you are, Rahji." I said. She looked up from the doll into my eyes.

I looked at her beautiful golden brown eyes that she inherited from her father, "Mommy, why are you crying?" she asked me in her angelic voice. You know I really wanted to yell and shake this little girl, but all the anger that I had at the moment quickly vanished.

Tarahji just had that affect on me. She was so sweet and beautiful that at times I found it so hard to be harsh and discipline her. It was always that one look into her beautiful golden chestnut eyes or her showing off her dimples that always killed any emotion. I thank God for giving her to me.

"Rahji, I thought I told you to stick close with me." I said.

She looked down at the floor, "I'm sorry mommy." She said apologetically in her soft sweet voice. "I saw Barbie and- and—" she began stammering as she began bawling.

I sighed, "It's okay, mama." I said standing her up and squatting to her level to comfort her. She didn't owe me an apology. It was my fault. I should've gotten a cart and I should have never cut through here. I should've known better that cutting through here without holding her hands was asking for trouble. I rubbed her back soothing her. "It's okay." I said.

She calmed down and I picked her up, "I'm sorry mommy." I heard her say as I looked at the doll that she had been playing with.

"Do you want me to buy you the doll?" I asked her. She nodded her head and I wiped the remnant of her tears away. I grabbed the Barbie box and was about to walk away when I heard someone call my name.

"Laila?"

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