BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Jungkook: 11 April Year 22

What to Look for When Lost
Part 6

Finally, I got my wish. Or in other words, I got what I'd asked for with that attitude of mine.

I deliberately bumped into the thugs on the street and as a result, they'd beaten me thoroughly.          I laughed while they did it, sp they clobbered me even more, calling me crazy.

I leaned against a store shutter and looked up at the sky. It was nighttime. Nothing twinkled in the starless, pitch-black sky.

My gaze caught a paved road in the distance, a small, whispy patch of grass near it. When the wind blew, the grass lay down on its back. It looked like me.

I laughed out loud to keep my tears down.

I closed my eyes and swallowed thickly, my stepfather filling my thoughts.

He cleared his throat while my stepbrother giggled. His relatives averted their gaze and continued their separate conversations.

They all acted as if I wasn't there. As if my existence meant nothing. All mom did was look flustered.

I brushed the thought away and picked myself up from the ground, stirring up dust in the process. i coughed loudly, whincing when the pit of my stomach pained. It felt like I'd been stabbed by a knife.

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I followed the path to what looked like a deserted unfinished building. I guess they'd halted construction.

I tightrope-walked along the guard rail installed on the rooftop, my arms spread out.

I stretched my foot out over the edge of the rooftop, the darkness permeating through my toes. The colorful nightscape of the city unfolded down below me.

Neon signs, cars hooting and the acrid smell of dust all jumbled together into the darkness in a swirling torrent.

Dizziness washed over me, making me stagger and teeter over the edge. I spread out my arms wider to try and keep my balance when a thought snuck up on me.

If I just took one more step forward...that'd be enough to end all of this.

I leaned over again towards the dark void. The darkness that seeped into my toes sprang up at me, ready to take me in one go.

I closed my eyes and the bustling city below, the noise, the lights, the fear...it all vanished.

I took in a deep breath and leaned over again. My thoughts slowly left, leaving my mind at ease.

I didn't think of anyone. I didn't want to leave anyhthing in my head. I didn't want to remember anything.

This was the end...

Until my phone rang.

I felt groggy. It felt as if I'd started awake from a dream.

Dazed, I took out my phone.

My senses instantly returned.

Yoongi was calling me.

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