BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Jimin: 3 July Year 22

After Returning from the Sea
Part 8

Hoseok has been in a bad mood since he went to go see Jungkook. If anyone could keep us all together, Hoseok could. He embraced and protected us.

He wasn't always as bright and cheerful on the inside. He tried to stay happy for us. I think it gave him a sense of responsibility.

He instinctively sensed the wounds and pain of those around him. He didn't deal with it well. That's why he pretended to be happier than he actually was.

Even today, Hoseok just sat in a corner of the practice room as we carried on. He didn't say anything when he left.

I had joined a dance studio: Just Dance. Hoseok gave me the opportunity to come here after we'd come back from the Sea. I was awkward around new people. I'd spent a lot of time in the hospital so all my social skills weren't really up to par.

He brought a new dance partner with him too. She was a friend he'd made while in the orphanage. She was the only person to could make him laugh when he was in that quiet mood of his.

When she murmured something while looking at something with him on his phone, he'd laugh. She'd make fun of him for laughing too. He'd tell her to stop, still laughing.

I lay on the floor after turning off the music. The practice room was so so quiet.

I liked dancing when I was smaller. I danced a lot back then and as much as possible. I was often praised for it. When I'd gone into the hospital, I'd stopped dancing.

Between hospital stays I went to school. I'd always avoid everyone in class. After juggling the two I wasn't able to dance at all. My movements weren't as fluid. I became stilted. I couldn't perform as well as Hoseok anymore.

I had to keep practicing. Even if I was the only one there.

I watched the practice video over and over. Hoseok's moves were so fluid and precise. I knew it was the product of many years of practice. It'd take a long time for me to reach his level.

After the sea, I went to the apartment building where my parents' house was. When I got there, the brightly lit windows stopped me in my tracks.

Has this place ever been our home?

After I rang the bell the gate opened. I took the elevator and reached the 17th floor. The door was open but no one came out to greet me.

I found my parents sitting in the living room. They were watching a silver screen film.

"I don't want to go back to the hospital," I said. "I won't do anything crazy. I'm not going back there again."

"Where have you been?" Mom asked.

"With my friends."

"Friends?" Dad cut in. "Wash up and go to bed. We'll take some time to think about what to do with you."

I bowed and went to my room down the hallway. I collapsed the as soon as the door closed behind my back.

"We'll take some time to think about what to do with you."

I tried to sleep. I tried to get dad's words out of my head. I braved myself for the worst.

I barely slept that night. Instead, I came to two solutions. I'll find something to do with my life. Something I'm passionate about. I'll show my parents I'm good at something.

I picked myself up and stood in front of the mirror I could imitate Hoseok's turns pretty well. My feet kept getting in the way, though. I kept making mistakes.

I was supposed to do this with my partner in the studio tomorrow. I wanted to impress her. I wanted to be recognized as an equal instead of hearing "not bad."

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