BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Taehyung: 23 March Year 22

What to Look for When Lost
Part 2

After the owner of the gas station spat on the ground, I lay there bunched up on the ground.

He'd caught me drawing graffiti on the back wall, and he beat me mercilessly. I thought I'd be used to getting hit by now...Turned out I wasn't.

I started spray-painting graffiti some time ago. I thoughtlessly sprayed paint from a can someone threw away on a wall. The yellow paint sprayed onto the gray wall stood out quite nicely. The sight made me feel uneasy.

I picked up another can and covered the yellow. It still didn't look right. Soon, I had used up all the cans.

After the last can ran out, I chucked it on the ground and took a step back to admire my work. Surprisingly, I was out of breath.

There was no real meaning behind the colors on the wall. I didn't even know what I'd drawn, or even why I'd drawn it. Yet, somehow, it showed the state of my mind pretty well.

At first, the graffiti looked quite ugly. Dirty. Stupid. Useless. Pitiful. I didn't like it.

I rubbed at the wet paint with the palm of my hand. I wanted to erase it all. The layers of paint smudged and blended together to create more combinations of colors. But I couldn't erase them.

I sat down and leaned against the wall. It didn't matter whether I liked it or not. It didn't matter whether it was ugly or beautiful. It was just a part of me, there, on the wall, as I was.

---

I sat upright and began to cough. Blood splattered onto the palm of my hand.

I heard someone pick up the spray can behind me.

I raised my head, following the hand, and a familiar face came into sight.

I just looked at him, not saying a word.

Namjoon helped me up. His hand was warm.
He was really here.

He'd come back to Seongju after all.

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