BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Seokjin: 21 July Year 12

Shadow Of My Childhood
Part 4

The entrance door kept opening and closing. I kept staring at it, sitting in the airport waiting room. People with suitcases walked by, some wearing sunglasses.

The electronic display board continued to change with arrivals, delays and cancellations.
The driver was murmuring with his eyes fixed on his cellphone.

"No word from him yet."

I looked down at my watch. It was more than an hour past the time dad promised he'd arrive.

As long as I could remember, I was always by myself.
Dad was busy and mom was indifferent.
They told me to do what I was told and not try anything else.

When I disobeyed, they scolded me with silence.

I wanted to please my parents.

Mom passed away not so long ago.
Dad told me not to cry and didn't cry himself.
I tried to obey him, but it wasn't easy.

He decided to send me to my maternal grandmother's home in the U.S.
He didn't seem very sad about it.

Dad's driver handed me my passport.
It was time to leave.

I looked back as I headed for the departure gate.
The entrance door closed.
The driver waved at me.

The airplane finally began to speed down the runway.
Dad didn't come.

I looked out the tiny window by my seat.
Clouds passed by, and the sky turned pitch black.

The flight attendant brought me a meal and the juice tipped over when we hit turbulence.
Flustered, I asked for some napkins.
The flight attendant asked me if I was alright.

My hands were sticky and my pants were wet.

"No," I whispered back. But the flight attendant didn't seem to hear.

She said not to worry as she took away my tray.
I simply nodded and kept looking down at the floor.

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