BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Jimin: 11 May Year 22

The Topmost Floor of the City
Part 2

I was transferred to the surgery ward about two weeks ago. At first, it felt strange to see people coming and going so freely. Soon, I found that it was just another part of the hospital. There were patients, nurses and doctors. I was given drugs and injections. All in all, it was about the same as the psychiatric ward. The only difference was that the surgery ward had a longer hallway with a lounge halfway down.

Of course, there was one more major difference. I was allowed to freely roam around the ward. At night, I sneaked out of my room and wandered around. I jumped and danced in the lounge and ran down the first-floor hallway at full speed.

These were simple joys that werent allowed in the psychiatric ward.

One day, I discovered something strange about myself while I was running down the hall. At somme point past the kitchenette ad emergency staircase, my body just came to a grinding halt for no reason whatsoever. I still had about five more steps to reach the end, but I stopped. I couldn't go further.

At the end of the hallway was a door. The door opened to the outside world. Outside the hospital. The door had no "Off Limits" sign and no one came running to stop me. But I just couldn't go any further.

I soon found out why.

That was the stretch of the hallway just like the psychiatric ward. As if a line was drawn on the floor, I came to a stop at that exact point, where the psychiatric ward wouldve also ended.

They called me a good kid in the psychiatric ward. I had seizures sometimes, but I was mostly obedient. I smiled and went on lying without anyone being the wiser. And I knew my limits. The hallway of the psychiatric ward could be covered in 24 even strides.

When I was first hospitalized, I was eight years old. I cried and demanded to go home with Mom, holding onto the iron door at the end of the hallway. I frantically tried to open the door until the nurses came running and gave me a sedative.

For a while, the nurses tensed up whenever I stepped into the hallway. Now, no one paid attention to me, even if I ran down the hall and reached the door. I already knew that the door was anyways locked. I just kept running to the door and back. I never begged then to let me go. I never cried again.

But the world is full of people crazier than me. They clung to the door and shook it for hours at a time. They were suppressed by the staff and tied to their beds. If they behaved just a bit more acceptably, their lives could've become much more comfortable. Those idiots didnt know any better.

I wasnt like this in the beginning. I was also dropped senseless by the sedatives forcefully injected into my system by the nurses. I also got caught trying to escape from the hospital in my early days. I called Mom, sobs wracking my body, enough to go hoarse, on several occasions.

"I'm not sick. Im okay now. Please come fetch me. Please come take me home."

I stayed up all night for a few days,
waiting for her to come and take me away from this place.
But Mom never came.

ｖｏｔｅ
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ｃｏｍｍｅｎｔ
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ｓｈａｒｅ