BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Seokjin: 2 May Year 22

The Thing With Wings
Part 2

Yoongi wasn't easy to handle. He was probably the most difficult of all. He was always changing the time and place of his attempts at suicide. I had to approach him differently compared to the others.  A solution that worked perfectly the last time failed the next. Just when I thought Id finally unravelled one mystery, it led to another hitch.

At first, I couldnt put my finger on his reasons. After everything, all I could guess was that Yoongis distress was connected to his inner conflict. Namjoon got caught in a fight because of those rude customers at the gas station, but Yoongi was different. He had no definite target and no definite cause. He had too many variables.

I tried to imagine what was going on in Yoongis head. Once, I followed him secretly for hours. His footsteps were insecure and unpredictable. He staggered through the streets and tried to fling himself into the fire at night. He sometimes squatted on the ground and listened to music that flowed out from inside the underground shopping arcade.

After a night of following him, I realised how dry, dull and flat my own life was.

It wasnt that I envied Yoongi. The suffering he mustve endured, going from one extreme to the next, were beyond my imagination. And all I could do was watch him stumble along the curb.

One setback was always followed by another. A new layer of despair came down before the previous one could run away.

I might not be able to save Yoongi after all I couldnt find a breakthrough.

But at that moment, hope flew in. literally.

I once heard hope had wings. A small little bird had flown into Yoongis workroom (an abandoned building in the middle of a redevelopment neighbourhood).

The bird that had flown in Yoongi's broken window. That small creature. That was Yoongi's hope.

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