BTS SMERALDO THE NOTES 1 (Edited & Translated)

Hoseok: 10 May Year 22

The Topmost Floor in the City
Part 1

My narcolepsy occurred anytime, anywhere. I collapsed without warning while working and blacked out suddenly on the street. I pretended that I wasn't so concerned about it in front of those who worried about me. I'd never told anyone that I couldn't bear to count to ten.

I always ended up having dreams about Mom when I blacked out. The dreams were always the same. I was heading somewhere with Mom on the bus. I was excited and cheerful. I read the signs that passed by, looked at her, and kept fidgeting. I was always about seven years old in these dreams.

Then, suddenly it crossed my mind. Mom had left me. I was twenty years old when that fact had finally sunk in. Mom was still sitting in the seat in front of me on the bus. She looked exactly the same from behind.

When I whispered the words "Mom" she turned her head as if she'd heard me. Her silhouette glimmered against the bright sunlight and the wind brushed her hair just like it did when we were at the amusement park.

The saddest part was that I knew that I would wake up after my blackout before she turned around to see me. I never got to see her face in my dreams.

In my dream, I tried to tell her to not turn around, but my voice failed. I kept trying to shout "Mom, dont turn around. Dont turn around" but she always, always turned to look back at me.

And just when our eyes were about to meet, everything turned white, and the pale fluorescent light on the ceiling of my hospital room would shine into my eyes as I woke up.

Whenever I collapsed, things were like a daily routine in the hospital for me.

When I opened my eyes, the light came back into focus and I was in a hospital patient's gown, in the hospital after blacking out. I always felt exhausted when I regained consciousness. The usual, really.

"You seem to have obtained a concussion after that fall of yours. Well be moving you into a six-person ward since youre in need of a more thorough check before deeming you fit to discharge from the hospital," the doctor informed me.

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