Shourtney AU - Loving So Hard (Mature)

#60 - Big Sister

*Courtney*

The dream was all too real, all too vivid and all too heartbreaking. It wasn't even a dream, it was a flashback of real life events. The event that split my very soul in half, and the event that made years of my life a living hell because I was without my soulmate.

I awoke from it in a cold sweat, silently sobbing and clutching at strands of my messy hair. Shayne laid beside me peacefully, hugging a pillow, probably presuming it was me. I smiled slightly and stroked his cheek, but as I looked at his face his cold words replayed in my mind over and over again. I had to get away. It was suffocating me.

Quietly, I slipped out of bed and changed into a fresh pair of clothes, tying my hair into a messy bun and chucking my glasses, tampons and a toothbrush into my purse. Subsequently, I tore my phone charger from its socket and threw that in my bag, too. Next was my phone, and I disabled the tracking feature so no one would be able to find me for a while. I needed to be away from him.

After this I texted Kari to come and pick me up, not explaining my reasoning. Nevertheless, she said she'd come, and so I waited outside for her, trying to control my breaths with the cool sea breeze outside.

My head was spinning as I got into my sister's car, honestly thinking I was about to puke all over the dashboard. Shayne's loveless countenance haunted my mind, seemingly appearing in every reflection and body of water.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?" Kari asked.

I squeezed my eyes shut as tears continued soaking my cheeks, "I-I just need to be away from Shayne for a little while."

Kari sighed deeply and continued driving. We arrived at my sisters' apartment, and she led me inside, before instructing me to sit on her couch. I was offered a glass of water, and as I sipped the ice cold liquid Kari sat beside me, holding my hand.

"What'd he do to you?"

Her voice was menacing and laced with poison. I knew that Kari would kill anyone who wronged me.

She pressed me for an answer, "Did he hurt you?"

I shook my head as I placed the glass of water down with a shaky hand, before staring at the beads of condensation inching their way ever closer to the oak surface of the coffee table.

"He hasn't done anything wrong," I said quietly.

Kari frowned, "But you said you needed to be away from him for a while?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but my phone started to ring. My heart leapt to my throat and lodged itself there as I noticed it was Shayne, and I froze, letting it ring out. I continued this routine four more times, until Shayne stopped calling me.

"Something is definitely wrong, you never ignore him," Kari stated, crossing her arms.

I sighed as guilt washed over me, "Yesterday, Shayne and I visited his parents to invite them to the wedding. They declined."

"Is that why you're so upset?"

"No. I was fine. Shayne was fine. We were happy. It was last night."

"What happened last night? Did he... want to, and you didn't?" Kari inquired cautiously.

My eyes widened and excessive volumes of tears slid down my cheeks, "Shayne would never do that, Kari!"

She held her hands up defensively, "I'm sorry! I'm just trying to figure out what he did to piss you off so much!"

I sniffled my tears away, wiping my cheeks with my sleeve, "As I said, he hasn't done anything. It was a dream I had."

Kari asked, "What kind of dream?"

"Well, it... it was more like a flashback," I blabbered.

My elder sister caught on, "The forest?"

I nodded slightly and Kari pulled me in for a hug, before rubbing my back in a comforting manner.

"Courtney honey, I know how much that upset you, but the two of us were talking about it with Olivia the other day when you were picking your maid of honour, and you seemed fine. Have you not really forgiven him, yet?"

I went to speak again, but once more a phone call interrupted our conversation, however, it was Kari's phone this time. Her eyes widened as she looked at the contact.

"It's Shayne," she said.

I cried to an even further extent. He was evidently very worried about me, but my cowardly ass couldn't confront him just yet. Kari answered the call.

"Hey Shayne... Yeah... Courtney?"

She looked at me and I got the message, but I shook my head desperately.

Kari sighed disapprovingly, before saying, "I haven't seen her, I'm sorry Shayne... Okay, bye."

She hung up and her expression was full of nothing but disappointment, "You just made me lie to your fiancé, Courtney."

My sobs only became louder, "I-I'm sorry."

Kari gripped my shoulder, "Just answer my previous question; have you forgiven him for leaving you back then?"

My hands flew away from my face as I screamed in sorrow, "Of course I have, Kari! I love him with all my heart!"

She pulled me into her embrace and I broke down into a fit of weeping, "If you love him with all your heart, why are you hiding from him?"

"Because I'm scared," I sniffled.

"Scared of what, honey?"

"S-Shayne leaving me a-again."

Kari frowned and separated our embrace, before grabbing my left hand, "Courtney, look at your finger. Look at your ring. The ring that Shayne bought for you. The ring that symbolises Shayne wants to marry you! He's never leaving you again, and that's a promise from me, Courtney. I see it in his eyes every time you two are together, even in videos..."

"S-See what in his eyes?"

Kari smiled and brushed some hair off of my forehead and away from my eyes, "The pain, Courtney. The regret. The sorrow he relives everyday for ever agreeing to do what his parents told him to. He acted out of fear, Courtney. He told you himself after you got back together. He was forced to leave you and during every encounter I have ever had with Shayne, he mentions the fact that he is never leaving you again!"

I giggled slightly as my tears began to subside, "You're right, of course you're right. God I'm so stupid! This same kind of thing happened when I thought Shayne had cheated on me! He'd never do that! And he's never gonna leave me! We're getting married for Christ's sakes!"

Kari laughed at my self-inflicted anxiety, "You really are an idiot, Court," she joked.

I sighed whilst smiling widely and playing with a mascara-stained tissue, "I really am."