🌸The Promise 🌸[18+]

Chapter 8

I've never kissed anyone before and it's better than I expected.

His lips were reluctant at first, but short-lived before he's kissing me back.
A groan escapes my throat at the taste of him, as his lips kiss me with more desire than I've ever read about. Somehow words can never seem to express the sheer joy and pleasure of having another persons lips to yours, sharing something so intimate and life changing. I feel his hand brush the side of my face deepening the kiss and the need is like fire in my veins, I want to be closer to him, I want to feel him. To make sure this is real.

I move my legs and sit on his lap, my thighs parted either side and not moving my lips from his, I feel like they are sucking me in making my mind whirl and my body tremble. He feels solid under my legs, as tingles spark everywhere making me needy. I gasp for breath in-between kisses, but he just moves my head in control, taking the lead. Wanting this as much as me, he molds my inexperienced mouth showing me what to do, and how to do it.

His free hand lightly traces up to my spine, sending shock waves all over which makes me tremble once more, I can feel the heat between my thighs, and they throb with a pleasurable feeling. I move slightly wanting something, but I'm not sure what as something hard presses between my thighs, I can't deny that it doesn't feel good.

I reluctantly pull my lips away and look down trying to catch my breath, my thighs are parted between his lap and his hardness is pressing into me, into my most sensitive spot between my legs, how did this happen? This pressure of him is making my core dampen.

I look to his face and see his heavy-lidded eyes and the desire that lives there, as he moves towards me licking his lips slightly wanting to continue our kiss.
But I swallow feeling panic explode in my chest, and with a yelp, I scramble backwards in my hurry, losing my balance in the process as my back hits the mattress with an oomph. Knocking the wind out of my already gasping chest.
Scrambling up and trying to compose myself as I tuck my legs under my body, and move as far away from him as possible on the overcrowded bed.

What did I just do?

Fear is pounding in my ears as the thought of him on me forcing himself, swirls in front of my eyes.
I've led him on, I kissed him first. Maybe he expects me to do more.
The thought of being pushed into the mattress as a heavy body is on top of me makes my breathing hitch and my heart batter through my rib cage, a slight sweat beads on my forehead.
What have I done?

"Are you okay?" He breathes clearly out of breath from our make-out session.
I pause before replying.

"Yes, I'm sorry I didn't mean to.."

"Didn't mean to what.. Kiss me?" He answers for me.

"Yes, I..I.." I stammer feeling uneasy.
"I didn't mean for you to... " I point to his lap.

"For me to get hard?" He asks curiously.

I nod. My cheeks warming.

"Well, that is a natural response to being kissed the way you just kissed me."
My head feels dizzy and a tingle surprises me between my legs.

"It's not a big deal Nova, I am a man and men get erections when they are turned on. Your kiss definitely had that effect." He laughs lightly.

I swallow at his words and try to calm my racing heart.

"Did I scare you?" He asks intently, I can see he's confused and a little hurt by my sudden disappearance from his lap.

"A little, I wasn't sure if you expected more once I felt..."

But a stifled laugh shocks my ears.

"Nova, it was just a kiss. A very unexpected kiss, but enjoyable. I wasn't expecting anything more, and I certainly wouldn't have made you do anything you were not comfortable with, I may be an 'Arsehole' but I don't do anything, without consent."

His words are comforting, but the way he says the words, are not. I can tell he's annoyed and almost apologetic with a heavy dose of sarcasm.

"I shouldn't have kissed you that was completely out of character for me and I apologise." I say sincerely hoping he takes my apology.

"You shouldn't have kissed me?" He states like I'm joking.

"Yes, that was a mistake, my mistake. Please accept my apology. I don't know what happened, I wasn't thinking."

I'm so embarrassed.

I see a coldness wash over his face. Any hint of affection towards me vanishes.
My heart is racing, waiting for his reply.

After a while, he stands and I notice his shirt is on but the buttons are barely done, I can see his chest through the gaps in the buttons. He either fell asleep fully dressed or he quickly got dressed, before he came to check on me. My chest feels tight at that thought.

"Well we are in agreement then, it was a mistake and it shouldn't have happened. I'm sorry for the part I played in it, I don't know what I was thinking." He says mirroring my words I had previously said.

"I shouldn't have taken advantage of your naivety and for that I'm sorry."
As he clears his throat and walks out of the room without saying anything else.

What just happened? What is wrong with me?

I start to feel cold, goosebumps appear on my arms and I pull the covers up, and over me as high as they can go.
I hear something hit the floor and I look down to see what it is.
Even though it's still night-time, the fire burning slowly brings enough light into the room for me to make out a brown wrapped package.
With a jolt I remember, Mr Laywood sent me this and I didn't get a chance to open it.
I pick it up and slowly start tearing the thin paper, revealing what is inside.

Kate Greenaway's
Language
Of
Flowers

The book is small in my hands, the pale cream cover looks worn but clean and the words are engraved into the cover, with a decorative flower at the bottom. Language Of Flowers. What a curious title for a book I ponder.
Opening the book I see lists of names of flowers with their meaning beside them, beautiful illustrations decorate the pages.
A few catch my eye;

Acacia - Friendship
Angus cactus - Coldness, Indifference
Almond (Flowering) - Hope

Turning the page I read some more;

Bridal Rose - Happy, Love
Buttercup - Ingratitude, childishness
Carnation - Distain
Cherry tree - Good education
Chrysanthemum (white) - Truth

After admiring the beautiful flowers that had been drawn I can't help to think I've seen something similar before.
I try to think while flicking through the remainder of the small book.

Red Rose - I love you
Pink Rose - Joy and gratitude
White Rose - Purity
Yellow Rose - friendship

The small paintings of the roses make me remember. I know where I've seen these before.
I climb out of bed and pull out my mother's journal's from under my mattress.
Flicking through I find what I'm looking for.
Almost identical paintings are found copied in one of my mother's journals.
These have been done by hand instead of the printed version in the book.
I run my finger over the sketches with paint filling them and I sigh.
My mother must have had this book that I have before me.
It cannot be a coincidence.
I look at the pictures on the walls. All of them are paintings and embroidery of flowers. Even the furniture has flowers Engraved in the wood.
I walk over to the dressing table and lift the crystal bottle of perfume and smell the sweet flowery scent. I then spot a vase filled with white and orange Lillies that I hadn't noticed before now.
I grab the book and flick through and find what I'm looking for.

Lillies - Family.

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