🌸The Promise 🌸[18+]

Chapter 54

"What do you mean he didn't rape me? He came towards me with his...his trousers undone and he touched me moving my nightgown out the way." I sobbed into his hands.

"I know, Shh I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you. I found you passed out on the bed. He wasn't there but he left a note. Stating that he was sorry, and didn't mean to hurt you - I, of course, thought he had done something to you, but you didn't look hurt in a physical sense." He soothes. "But I think he was planning to but didn't go through with it. Does anywhere on your body hurt? Not just down below." He asks biting his lip waiting for an answer. I can see the confusion in his eyes, he's trying to make sense of this and it's hurting him inside.

I shake my head and wince.

"No, just my head hurts. I've got a headache." I say, trying to control the tears.

Xavier moves closer to me taking my hand in his. "That would be from the sedative I believe he spiked you with-"

The tea, he put something in the tea.

"-I know he touched you, and that will always be a horrible reminder of what you went through, but-" He stops and wipes a tear away from my eye. "Will you allow me to examine you - so we know for sure what he did to you? But I understand if you don't want me too if it's too much." I can hear the anguish in his voice and it makes me swallow.

"Examine me how?" I ask, my voice low and monotone.

"I need to see if you have any bruises or any indication of forced intercourse." His voice strained.

I don't know if I can let him touch me. Not after what Toby did to me, I close my eyes, feeling dirty all over again.

But then you would know Nova.

I want to know, but I don't think I could stand for Xavier to touch me so intimately, the thought makes my chest constrict as my breathing gets difficult. I see Toby but then John keeper, both touching me. Taking control of my body and not contemplating how it would affect me. Taking advantage of my vulnerability.

I shake my head, as tears leak from my puffy eyes.

"I can't Xavier." My whisper chocked with tears. "I just feel so dirty." I sob into his chest.

"Shh, my love, it's okay. I'm sorry for asking. It doesn't matter, and it doesn't change anything between us. Please remember that." He says reassuringly while wrapping his arms around me, holding me together again.

"I will make you a bath baby, hopefully, that will make you feel better." He soothes with his chin on my head. "Remember I love you Nova, and this doesn't change anything."

-

Soon Xavier has prepared a bath for me, he went through a door on the far side of the room - incidentally, a bathroom installed right next to our bedroom.
I try to stand, but my legs are so very weak and I can't weight bare, but as soon as I sit back on the bed, Xavier has picked me up in his strong arms and brings me close to his chest as he walks towards the bathroom. Him holding me close helps the ache in my chest. His arms are so protective, I know as long as his arms are around me, I will be okay. I will get through this with him by my side, holding my hand every step of the way.

Xavier stands me up in the bath, and I'm aware I still have my nightgown on from last night. It feels sticky against my clammy skin and I want to remove it before I soak, Xavier hears my thoughts and starts to remove the clothing, but I stop him. I look up to his dark eyes full of love and care, it doesn't feel right. I feel bare enough without getting naked in front of him.

"I've seen you naked before Nova," Xavier says sadly.
I don't want to push him away, but baring my tainted skin to him just feels wrong. Whether toby raped me or not, I still felt where he touched me.

Knowing I'm not going to change my mind and let him help me undress he turns around. Giving me privacy.

I quickly pull off my nightgown and place it on the floor by the bath and get in. The temperature warming my bones as I bend my knees and placing my head on them, making myself as small as possible. Soon Xavier has turned around and is watching me, his eyes glisten taking in my position in the bath.

"Do you want me to leave you?" He asks tentatively but I shake my head. I don't want to he left alone. He makes me feel safe - and hopefully, once I've washed my skin clean I will feel less contaminated.
Xavier startles me slightly by moving a chair next to the bath and picking up a sponge. He pulls back his shirt sleeves and immerses the sponge in the water.
"Can I wash you?" His voice unsure, as his hand's fiddle with the sponge.

"Okay." My voice barely a whisper as I close my eyes, listening to the rain outside and feeling the warm water being poured into my skin. Washing away my sins with every drop.

Xavier

I hate seeing Nova like this, so fragile and small. I hate that Toby has done this to her, taken her confidence and broken it whole. My anger simmers in my veins as I wash Nova lightly, trying not to touch her too much. I can't stand that she's pushing me away, because she feels unworthy. She's never unworthy in my eyes no matter what Toby has done to her. She will always be perfect to me.
Her creamy pale skin is smooth, as the water bounces off it running down every curve of her body. I find myself wishing I was the water that is coating her body. Just so I can feel close to her again. I make sure not to touch her breasts or legs with the sponge as her body is fully submerged now, so I spend my time on her arms, and feet alternating as I go. Her eyes flutter and close a few times as silence and calmness is all around. If this is what she needs I will do this for the rest of my life, savouring her any way she will let me.

All too soon the water cools and she starts to shiver, I don't know how long we've been in here, but the sky is now black and the rain has stopped. I grab a towel I've been warming by the fire and hand it to her while I turn around giving her privacy once more. It pains me that she doesn't want me to see her body anymore, but hopefully in time she will. Hopefully, with enough love and patience, she will trust me again and trust herself to know she is worthy and she is pure.

-
Listening to Nova breathe is such a comforting sound, she's tucked up in bed with her head on my chest and her arm around my stomach. After wiping her tears away one by one with my fingertips she gives in to exhaustion and falls asleep as I cradle her not wanting to let go, playing with her blond curls and watching the spirals bounce back into shape as I lightly pull them. Her hair is one of the things that I love about her, the curls make her almost angelic. They are wild and mostly out of control but I couldn't imagine it any other way. I hate when she has them all pinned back, they are so beautiful and unique that they should be shown all the time, although them laying freely over the pillow is my favourite. Just how I always imagined they would look while she slept beside me.

'Knock, knock'

I'm in no mood to get up and leave Nova, so I ignore the sound. It's most likely Trudy or Angeles wanting to see how Nova is. I'm not ready to move from this position with her holding me as she sleeps. I'm not ready to stop smelling her smell, like a summers day in a garden full of Roses.

'Knock, knock.. Xavier, I need to speak to you." My father's voice calls through the door.

I've been avoiding my father, I know he will ask whether it's right to marry Nova now that her virginity is compromised. But I don't care, I of course care that a man has touched her. That fact makes me sick to my stomach. But I don't care whether she is or is not a virgin anymore, all I care about is this beautiful woman who is sleeping on my chest. The woman who I want to spend the rest of my life with, have little curly-haired babies with.

"Xavier! If you don't answer I will come in!"

I don't want anyone to see her like this, this is for my eyes and my eyes alone. So I regretfully pry myself from her hold and tuck the covers over in my absence and walk towards the door.
As I open I see my father almost beside himself in worry and frustration.

"Xavier we need to go downstairs, we have a problem."