🌸The Promise 🌸[18+]

Chapter 18

We sit wrapped up in a blanket nursing our hot chocolate. The chill in the air making me shiver.
"Your freezing aren't you?" Xavier asks.

"Maybe a little." I lie. I'm sure my toes are going to fall off.

"You know the best way to warm up is to take off all our clothes and lay with each other." He states matter of factly.
About to swallow a mouthful of hot chocolate, I choke.
Between coughs and Xavier patting me on the back I take a gasp of air in.

"That's totally inappropriate to say!" I stutter between coughs.

"I know, but I said it anyway." He teases.

"You shouldn't say those things to me. Not after what I said." I search for his eyes, but they are looking up at the sky.

"You think I'm just after sex don't you?" He looks to me in question.

"Well, you were having sex with Mabel even though you knew her feelings towards you. But you had no intentions of marrying her." I say. My heart starting to beat fast, but I'm not sure why.

"I told her it would be a casual thing, and she told me she was fine with the arrangement. But you are wrong. I wasn't aware of her feelings for me. That was until I spoke to her after everything, She admitted that she loves me. That she wants us to marry." He sighs and takes a sip of his hot chocolate.

Before I can think my mouth replies for me.

"But, but.. You're not intending to marry her are you?"

Xavier runs his hand down his face in frustration.
"No, I'm not. As much as you think I don't care about other people's feeling's, I didn't take joy is telling her so. I told her that I don't love her and I had no intentions of marrying her." He says with a soft tone.
"I've felt terrible ever since." He laughs but his sigh afterwards tells me he's telling the truth.

"How did she take it?" I ask imagining Mabel in a terrible fit of rage at the news.

"That's the strange thing about it. She was fine, she said she respected my choice and thanked me for being truthful with her." The surprise in his voice matching my face.

What? That's not Mabel's style at all.
What is she up to?

"Well least you were honest with her," I say looking back to the stars.

I can feel he's watching me and I swallow. It's like his eyes are searing through my skin.

He clears his throat.
"Let me prove to you." He says his voice low and quiet.

"Prove what?" I ask confused.

"Prove to you, that I'm not just after sex. That with each kiss or touch I give you, I would never take it too far. I would never try and force myself onto you. Like he did." He looks to me and there's emotion in his eyes.

I can feel tears forming in my eyes and I swallow. How does he know I'm scared of being intimate with someone. Being pushed down like I can't breathe as a man takes what he wants from my body.

"It wasn't just Mr Travers that has scared you has it? your scared of any form of physical contact from a man. I saw your eyes, Nova when you pushed me away. You were petrified."

A tear silently escapes my eye and I look down.
How does he know this?

"No," I answer sadly.
"Someone tried to.." But I can't say the word.
"It was a while ago.." I continue. "But I've never been the same since."
Fear constricts in my chest at the thought of John keeper.

Xavier gives an angry sigh.
"I'm so sorry Nova, you shouldn't have had to go through that." He says. "But if you let me help you, we can work through your fears together." He replies looking back up at the stars.

"But why would you try and help me?" I say. "You didn't want me here in the first place." I join him looking back to the stars, looking at their beautiful dots of light in the vast black sky.

"Your right, I didn't want you here when you came. His voice is hard and I can see his jaw tensing.
"But I was wrong about you," he says.
"You have an innocence about you, you are so grateful for everything. Even the beef stew you ate for supper. I could see you didn't want it. But you ate it because it was given to you. You think of others before yourself and I can't help but care about you." His reply catches me off guard and he looks like he wants to continue, but he sees my tears running down my face. As hard as I try to keep them in, my eyes betray me.

He reaches over slowly and wipes a tear away from my eye. His gentle touch makes my heartache. I feel something for this man and it scares me. But excites me at the same time.

"Your freezing." He laughs. "Do you want to go?"
But I shake my head. I want to stay here listening to the soothing sea and looking at the beautiful stars.
But mostly I want to stay next to Xavier.

"Here." He gestures with his hand for me to move closer to him.
He positions me so that I'm between his legs and he wraps the blanket around me. He then places his arms in front of me like he's hugging me from behind. I lay my back onto his chest. He's so tall that his chin rests on the top of my head. He's warm, and I feel protected with his arms around me. Like nobody is going to hurt me. He holds me with such care that I can't help but close my eyes in contentment.
I feel safe.

After a while, he points to the sky.
"Can you see the frying pan?" He asks.

I laugh, incredulously "What? The frying pan?"

"Yes look." As he moves his hand from around me and points to a shape the stars make in front of us.
"There's the pan and here this part is the handle. Can you see?" He asks with wonder in his voice.

After looking for a few more seconds I spot what he's looking at.
"Oh wow! Yes, I can see it! How amazing!" I say with glee.

The stars are so beautiful, and I'm finally warm laying between Xavier. I eagerly look to see if I can see another shape in the sky.

"Maybe we will see a Supernova." He teases.
I shake my head. "No they are really rare," I replied still looking at stars.

He's quiet for a moment like he's in thought.

"Yep, they are rare indeed." He says softly.

I can't help to think he wasn't talking about the stars.

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