🌸The Promise 🌸[18+]

Chapter 44

Xavier

I look to this beautiful girl standing before me, her eyes are shimmering with tears as her full bottom lip quivers, the flush of her orgasm I gave her only moments ago, fades to nothingness. Her face has paled to the girl she was once before, and pain radiates in my chest.
I did this to her, the look of pure devastation on her innocent face, I know I deserve it, but I can't bare to see it. My stupidity has caused this yet again and I internally yell at myself.

What have I done?

Nova

I try to take a breath, but it hitches in my throat. I look towards the bed as the covers are crumpled and messy from laying in them withering around, as Xavier's skilled hands brought me to heaven and back.

I know we were not engaged when he slept with Ms Carron, but it doesn't ease the raw emotion of devastation radiating out of my chest. Jealousy and anger fires up my insides and I look to this man that has my heart, yet as I look to him all I see is the pain he's caused me.
Biting my lip I know I have to speak, I need to hear him try to defend himself.

"Does this mean anything to you?" I turn and point to the bed, that looks empty just like my heart.

"Of course it does!" Xavier almost shouts, I can see he's in pain but I don't care, he caused this not me.

"Why do you give it so freely to others then? I ask fighting the tears swimming in my eyes.

Xavier let's out a rushed breath and runs his hands through his messy brown hair. " I don't know." He admits numbly.
"It's always been a sort of habit I go back to when I need comfort, you have to understand Nova, that I have never had feelings for anyone till I met you. Sex was just an escape, something to pass the time and make me feel better. But I don't want that to be the case with you. You are so much more."
He tries to hold me, but I push him away. I don't want to feel his arms around me. First, I catch him kissing Hannah, which I blew off because i kissed Toby, but then to find out he had slept with another and then still touched me the way he did makes me believe Xavier isn't the man I want him to be.
I numbly wipe the tears from my eyes, I'm too tired to fight anymore.

"So you admit you did have sex with her? Ms Carron?" I ask knowing the answer he will say.

He takes a deep breath and I see he's so angry at himself.
Releasing it slowly as he answers.

"Yes I did Nova, I'm so very sorry."

I nod, looking down to the ground. I don't want to be here with him. I thought that he was slowly changing, especially when Angeles told me he didn't sleep with Lady Cordelia, which secretly thrilled me.
I need to get away, I need air, so I turn-

"No don't leave!" He pulls my arm with his desperate plea. "We can sort this out, just don't leave me." I hear his voice break, but I don't look up because I know I will see his tears.

"Nova, I wouldn't ever cheat on you, now I have you, I'm not letting you go. I won't touch another unless that person is you. Please believe me." He bends down in front of me and I meet his desperate eyes. It's a strange sight to behold a man as big as Xavier begging me not to go.

But I step back not wanting to see this, this look of desperate despair in his eyes, his strong body crumbling in on its self as he looks to me like my words have the power to kill him.

"I need time Xavier, this is all too much and I need to think." I say still looking at him while walking back to the door.
He puts his hands over his face and lets out an angry groan.
I swallow as the air turns from desperation to ice. Seconds go by and I'm unsure of what to do, I know I need to leave but watching Xavier come undone in front of me makes me want to hold him. No matter, that it was his actions that caused this in the first place.

"Go on then, run off scared like always! I don't know why I bother, when all you do is run." His voice is like acid to my ears making them bleed.
I see him getting up while giving me a threatening look. The hairs stand up on the back of my neck, and I'm a little afraid of the man before me, I know its self-preservation making him this way but it still hurts, it's not how I'm used to him being around me, he's so loving and controlled. Yet images of Toby's unconscious face alight in my eyes, then Mr Travers dead eyes. I don't think he would hurt--

"Just GO!" He shouts making me jump, and I turn on my heel, as quickly as I can, tears escaping my eyes, as I run down the corridor, down the two flights of stairs gasping for breath in fear and pain till I'm outside finally able to breathe into the freezing cold night.

With tears in my eyes, I pant with my hands on my knees bent over, watching people look to me as they make their way to their carriages home. I take a deep breath and run, I don't want people looking at me while I'm like this, I need to get away.
So with heavy shaking legs I run. The cold air bites my skin as my feet pound the floor but I don't feel it, the world rushes past and all I can feel is the euphoria at running so fast. I feel a slight burn in my legs as I pick up speed, and my chest constricts as I suck in the cold air.
I have nowhere to run to, nowhere to go. Just a lone girl running in the darkness, running away to nothing, and no one, just how I've always been. I've always been taught to run.

I can hear my name being called in the distance as I exit the open gates to the Laywoods estate, but I ignore them and carry on, slowing slightly, as I look to see where I should go. "I need to keep running, I need to keep run--"

I say, just as someone strong, grabs me and makes me scream.