Reintegration program - Elmax

Chapter 52 : Nightmare

A movement in the bed woke Max up. She hardly opened her eyes, seeing it was still dark outside, before turning to her girlfriend. Jane was sat, calming her breath with drops of sweat flowing on her temple. She straightened to sit.

- What's wrong? asked the redhead.

Jane had a startle, still breathing heavily.

- Nothing. It's fine, hardly gulped the ex-prisoner.

- You're pale and trying to breathe, what happened?

- Nothing, it's normal, it's just...a nightmare...

- Why didn't you wake me up?

- For what!? You can't do anything for that! told angrily Jane, tensing her body.

Max didn't insist, she knew that Jane was struggling a lot with her withdrawal and this kind of reactions were part of the symptoms. She took Mr.Bear and placed it on her legs, allowing her girlfriend to take it in her hands to reassure her. Jane closed her eyes, calmed her breathe and kneaded her Teddy bear.

- I'm sorry...

- I know, said softly Max. Joyce told me you are having hard nights, I understand.

Jane nodded. She wiped her face with the hoodie that Max lent her, before quickly going out of the bed, searching in her bag.

- What are you doing? frowned the redhead.

- I'm gonna smoke! I won't sleep anyway! answered sharply Jane.

- I can come with you if-

- No! Just...try to sleep, I already fucked up enough.

The young girl found her cigarettes and walked out of the room, going on the balcony. Max laid again on her bed, trying to sleep but she couldn't stop thinking about Jane. She stood and slowly went to her. Jane was sat on the chair, her cigarette in her right hand, looking at her with wet eyes. The redhead had a sad and sorry frown. She sat on the chair next to her and rubbed her back.

- I'm going to move, said the redhead.

- Yeah? Where? sniffed the ex-prisoner.

- I still don't know, somewhere a bit bigger, with, maybe three rooms but I need to be sure that my two possible roommates would agree to live with me.

- Who wouldn't?

- Well, my cousin agreed but she needs to stop fighting or she'll never get out of jail!

- Oh yeah, I know that!

- And for the other one, I talked to her and she is thinking of it for now so...I'm waiting for her answer, with money problems, she hesitates.

- Yeah, I can understand that, sighed Jane.

- But, I told her I could pay for the first months, to give her time to find a job, with no pressure.

- Well...if she is like me-

- I hope not! I've enough to do with you! joked the redhead.

- You're such...you know what? I'm not gonna say it, I know that's what you want, answered Jane with a smile.

Max playfully nudged her, relieved to make her smile. She knew she couldn't do something for her addictions, but she could, at least, make her laugh and feel better.

- You'll have a place for me in your new flat?

- Nah, I'm gonna buy a small bed to be sure to sleep alone.

- Yeah, ok, dumb question! chuckled Jane.

Max giggled, gently pushing her. She slid her hand in hers and intertwined her fingers. She waited Jane to finish her cigarette, but when she finished, Jane didn't move.

- You don't wanna go back inside? It's freezing.

- I'm used to it.

- And? It doesn't mean you have to spend the night here. You don't think you spent enough time outside in the cold?

Jane looked at her before watching the ground. She took a moment to think. It was all new to her, she spent the Winter outside or squatting some abandoned places when she didn't want to go to Cassandra's, she was already abusing of Joyce's hospitality, she didn't want to be a burden for Max too.

- Hey, are you ok? asked softly the redhead.

- Yeah, smiled Jane.

Max leaned and kissed her cold cheek before standing, dragging Jane away inside. The two girls went back in the bed, warming their bodies.

- You want a hug? asked Max.

Jane had a small smile meaning everything. Max wrapped her arms around her before laying down, Jane's head in her neck and her arm around her waist. The redhead rubbed her back and slid her hand under the hoodie, touching her skin.

- You're hot.

- Yeah, that's what Hills told me, mumbled Jane.

- When did Bev touch you? frowned Max.

- At Halloween, she saw I was dying inside because you preferred watching the cunt you used to call boyfriend than me.

- Aw you were jealous! That's why you sat between us! I'm so sorry!

- It's fine, now it's me in your arms, smirked the ex-prisoner.

Max couldn't hold her smile. She was so happy about this that she tightened the hug, wanting to have the entire Jane in her arms. She was so glad to have her in her bed than Dan, she was feeling so much better with her, not judge, not trying to be good enough for her, being the best person ever for Jane, it was all she needed, just a bit love, and she was sure that Jane was good at it, even if she wasn't used to it. She didn't regret a second her choice, it was so natural with her, she didn't need to take her to an expensive restaurant or at the movie theater, just eating pastas while watching TV was a good date for her. She didn't need more.

She kept an eye on her girlfriend and noticed that her breath was peaceful. Even if Jane told she wouldn't sleep anyway, she managed to close her eyes and to follow her dreams. Max kissed her forehead before doing the same.