Reintegration program - Elmax

Chapter 55 : Too late

Joyce spent the night outside, driving. She went in the South, under the bridge, in the dark streets, in the strip clubs, in the bars, but nothing. She didn't find Jane. She called Max but she didn't see her, she called all her friends but no one had news of her. She went back to her house, exhausted, and collapsed at her kitchen table.

- No one saw her!? asked Jonathan.

- No...It's my fault...

- No, it's not!

- Yes, it is! I shouldn't have yelled at her! She felt rejected and now she left because she thinks she doesn't belong here! I did exactly what everyone does with her! Will slapped her and I blamed her for being vulgar towards him! I shouldn't have done this! I should have tried to calm her and to explain her why it was wrong, but not yell at her!

- I'm the one who yelled at her, mom, told Will. I was so angry after her, I don't even know why, I was...scared to lose everyone that I didn't realize that she had no one, that...she just wanted to be loved...I fucked up, I'm so sorry...

- It's a bit late now! replied angrily Max.

- I know...if I could go back...

- But you can't!

Will swallowed his tears. He wasn't mad at her, she had all the rights to hate him now. He spent his time blaming Jane for everything whereas he didn't realize how important she was for all his friends and family, not realizing that Max fell in love with her and tried to help her while, him, all he wanted was her to disappear or go back in jail. He was feeling so stupid.

- You should take some rest, intervened Nancy. We'll look for her.

- No, don't do this, she doesn't spend her time in safe places, I don't want you to have problems, answered the mother. And it's useless anyway, if she doesn't want to be found, she'll hide, that's what they do...She will reappear when she wants...If she wants...

Joyce stood, had a weak and sad smile to them before going to her room. She collapsed on her bed and instantly fell asleep.

- Max...I'm so sorry...apologized Will.

- I don't care, told coldly the redhead. She was feeling better, what give you the right to talk to her like that!? To tell her I had pity for her!? That everyone had pity for her!? This is completely wrong! She just wanted to be accepted, why is it so hard for you to understand!? She was already feeling bad but you gave her a reason to run away! And if she dies...I will never forgive you.

Will felt his heart breaking seeing his friend's wet eyes. She seemed so hurt by all of this, and it was his fault, if something would happen to Jane, he would never forgive him.

Max didn't stay more. She was too mad at him, but she was madder at her. If she didn't want to stay here, she could have gone to her apartment! She knew she was welcomed here but no! She preferred running away than going with her girlfriend! When the redhead arrived at her apartment, she had the hope to see her inside, sleeping on the couch with her Teddy bear in her arms but it was empty. No one was there.

Will sat at his kitchen table, trying to not cry, but he just ruined two persons' lives, his friend and his own mother. She worked too hard with Jane to just give up like that, like if she never existed.

- Don't worry, Jane seemed to be the kind to run away, she would certainly do it anyway, it was just a matter of time, told softly Jonathan.

- No, that's the problem, maybe she was the kind to run away, but she never showed anything that could tell she wanted to run away, she was fine here because mom was taking care of her, she didn't want to go because mom treated here like if she was her own child, and that's why I was hating her! She is not her child, it's me her child, but now...I understand why mom treated her like that, not by pity but by compassion, she wanted her to know how it feels to have a mother, and I ruined everything, answered Will with a shaking voice. She didn't run away because of mom because mom treated her like her child and Jane is smart enough to notice that, she ran away because I told her she had no family and no friends, and she believed me!

- Blaming yourself won't help, we should think of a way to find her.

- Why do feel so concerned?

- Because mom was concerned, your friends were concerned, and now you're concerned, and...it could be any of us at her place, especially me.

- Why you?

- Well, I live with dad at home longer than you, I could have tried to kill him too. I didn't because of mom, and because of you, but her...according to mom, she had no one, no reason to not do it.

Will felt more stupid. He was so centered on himself that he didn't see the distress in the person living with him. But he couldn't do anything, Joyce told the Chief and none of them found her, maybe she would come back by herself.

A bit further, in a part of the town which seemed abandoned by every forms of life, a young girl was taking a nap, enjoying her day at home. She spent the week at work and was exhausted, she deserved this break. She was deep in her dream when she heard something scratching and whining at her door. She hardly opened her eyes and went to her door. When she opened, she saw a dog and a cat with a bag full of animals stuff and a paper on it. She looked around before taking the paper and reading:

Hi Im sory to ask you this but I cant take care of them for a moment. I wil come bake but not now. I have to do things befour but they dont need to see it. Im sory for everything.

- Oh Dopey, what have you done again, sighed the young girl.

She didn't need to have a name on the paper to know who wrote it. She let the dog and the cat entering before reading another paper with instructions on them. It was as hard to read as the first paper, but now, she began to worry about her. Why didn't she knock at her door to ask for a place to stay!? She had place for her, even a room if she wanted! But Jane was too stubborn to admit she needed help, it was going to kill her. She looked at the dog and the cat, both having sad eyes, already missing their owner.

- Yeah, I miss her too...