SHE WAS. (PART 3)
Part 1 - 2 link
https://www.facebook.com/350647578436189/posts/1501380643362871/
After Cheska's birthday.
It feels like it was a big nightmare.
Hindi ko na alam paano sasabihin to, pero eto na. Ikukwento ko na.
Nov 3 2019
I see myself with my mama, and paalis na kami ng hospital, dumiretso kami sa bahay bakasyunan, new place for me but the ambiance, is so refreshing, sarap mag stay habang buhay. You can totally smell the fragrance of the flowers. Sobrang bango, and near at the beach lang, gusto ko magstay dito forever. Ang saya sa feeling. This feels like a real home.
"Cheska"
"Mama!" I hugged my mama. Ang sarap ng feeling ko.
I've waited for the sunset at the beach. Ang ganda, nakakamiss mabuhay ng normal.
Sana totoo nalang lahat ng ito.
Dahil alam ko sa sarili kong, nasa utak ko lang itong mga to. Dahil gusto ko na maging normal ulit. Pero napapagod na ako, napapagod na po talaga ako e. Minsan iniisip ko na, tuwing sinasabi ni alex na sumama na ako, gusto ko ng sumama, kasi lagi niya akong sinasaktan kapag ayaw ko.
Napapagod na po ako, hindi ko na kaya pa. Please.
(Last note she gave to me)
---- The last words I heard from cheska is that.
"ate, tulong" tangina. Ang sakit. Bakit wala akong nagawa, bakit ang walang kwenta ko? Bakit, bakit ganun? Ang unfair?
Cheska Died Nov 10, 2019. 3:15am in the morning.
Kampante mama niya, dahil gumagaling na daw siya sabi ng doctor, she fell asleep, and nung nagising siya, cheska's body found, dead, on her bed. She died cause she stabbed her self with a knife, 13 stabs, shit nanginginig ako while tinatype ko, the deepest wounds are in her back.
HOW COULD SHE STAB HERSELF LIKE THAT?!!!!
NAGALIT SILA SAKIN, KASI HINDI KO DAW AGAD BINIGAY YUNG PAPER NA BINIGAY SA AKIN NI CHESKA.
Grabe yung pressure, hindi nila alam, since nung birthday ni cheska, hindi na ako nakakatulog, binibista niya ako palagi.
Feeling ko, what's in her body isn't cheska anymore.
She's not just Mentally Ill, not really. There's a demon who's controlling her. Pero sino ako para paniwalaan? Hindi kami magbestfriends ni Cheska ng matagal, we just met cause we are classmates and hindi ako totally close sa fam niya.
Bakit ako? Bakit parang kasalanan ko?
Bakit? Ganito??? Hindi ko naman kasi alam magagawa ko, kaya nanahimik ako. Kasi hindi ko na alam talaga, parang nakakatrauma na ewan, na lagi akong umiiyak.
Cheska, I am sorry, I didn't save you, I didn't help you, I know until now, you are in my room, smiling and crying, I'll try to help you, but please, let me recover first, na makayanan ko sana lahat. Susubukan ko. Alamin ang totoo, marami pa akong hindi nalalaman.
Siguro dito na matatapos ang lahat, salamat sa pagbabasa ng kwento.
Rosie...
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