ONE TRUE LOVE // N.M.

9: The Conversation

Once we pulled into the PM house driveway, i'm sure the people inside could hear the trippie red that Z was blaring in my car. I turn off my car.

"you trying to blow my speakers?" i say laughing.
"can't control the hype BABYYYY" he yells.

I laugh as Z and i grab the bags and bring them inside. We walk in and walk strait to the kitchen. We say hey to everyone as we all crowd around the bags of food. Everyone grabs their own thing and move into the living room. I saw that all the guys were all here, but Maggie, neviah, and Izzy were here, too. Once most of us walk into the living room, we all sit across the couches and on the floor with blankets. I see a spot open in between Z and Nick, so i decide to take it. I grab a fuzzy blanket and put it over me with gummy bears in my hand. 

"gummy bears?" Nick randomly says to me.
"huh?"
"your go to is gummy bears?"
"yeah they're the best."
"ohhh so you one of those people" he says looking away.
"bruh what do you mean" i laugh.
"you a gummy bear kinda person, idk you just kinda lame." he jokes just trying to piss me off.
"and what's your go to candy then, Mara?" i ask.
"only the best..." he says as he holds up sour patch kids.
"hm kinda basic if you ask me" I say and we both laugh.
"bruh when's this movie starting?" he asks the group.
"right now" Ed says as he comes and sits down on the floor.

The movie pretty good. It had a lot of action in it, which I didn't usually enjoy. We were about an hour into it and i started getting more uncomfortable. I was moving around quite a bit. I felt bad since half of us were asleep and I didn't wanna wake them. I sit back and sigh since i can't find a comfortable position.

"you good, y/n?" i hear Nick whisper.
"just can't get comfortable." i say looking at him.
"you know, i do hear that my shoulder is pretty comfortable."
"smooth" i laugh. "you don't care?"
"naw i'm probably about to fall asleep anyway."
"oh my god thank you"

i lean to my left and put my head on Nicks shoulder. I almost instantly am 10x comfier. I feel butterflies in my stomach. I can barely focus on the movie. I've been thinking of what I want with Nick recently.

After a minute or two of being zoned out thinking of Nick, I focus back on the movie. I cant really see around the living room since it was so dark, but it seemed like almost everyone was asleep. I'm just watching the TV as i feel a hand sit on my thigh. I look down with my eyes and see it's Nick reaching over. I don't know if he thought I was asleep or not, but I didn't do anything to react. Inside, I was freaking out, but i didn't show it. I was so comfortable that i drifted asleep.

When my eyes opened again, the movie seemed to be ending. I was still in the same position as when i drifted off. The TV faded to black with the credits rolling. I didn't know if Nick was asleep or not, but I just sat there for a second more. I pick my head up and lean back onto the back of the couch. As i wipe my eyes i can see that Nick is awake.

"Didn't know your were awake" he told me.
"i like just woke back up" i laugh.

Another second of us stretching went by and I think of how i needed to talk to Nick.

"Hey can i talk to you about something?" i ask him.

Just as I say that, Ed, Neviah and Brandon all start talking about the movie; all fighting over what they think happened at the end. Nick gestures, implying for us to go into a room. We both stand up and go into what looks like his room. Once we get in he sits on the end of his bed. I don't really know what to do so I just stand in front of him, but still a few feet away.

"what's up, is there something wrong?" he asks me.
"no no, i just...i was gonna ask you...what like what we're doing, i guess."
"well right now we're sitting in my room" he jokes, which makes me laugh.
"shut up you know what i mean, like...what are we"
"I was actually gonna ask you the same thing"

There's a pause for a second as we both obviously are waiting for the other person to speak.

"well, i'll be honest... i like you..." i say a little quiet.

Nick smiles, but i talked again before he could.

"...but, even if you like me too, which you don't have to answer, i don't think we would work." i say.
"what do you mean?"
"Me and you both spend a lot of time at parties and going out. We obviously don't just go to parties and then leave alone every time."

Nick nods slowly, agreeing. "So you saying you don't wanna be tied down."
"no, i'm saying it wouldn't work...as much as I want it to. We're too...you know...wild? i don't even know how to explain it."

He looks at me longingly. "i get what you're sayin and yeah i agree"
"good, so we're just friends"
"yeah just you know...touchy friends" he says, joking around. We laugh at this. "and also just so you know, i like you, too."

I look at him longingly as he starts to stand up. Us being a few feet apart turns into less and less. I keep thinking I know this isn't going to be a good idea.

"nick...i don't..." i say in a whisper.

He doesn't stop leaning in slowly. I could say fuck it and just kiss him, but it's gonna make us something. We literally just became cool and on the same page and if we do anything it would just fuck it all up... but i did really want to.

Our faces are inches away from each other. My breath is getting heavier. I give in. I reach my hands up and grab Nicks face. We both smash our lips together in unison. His hands reach my waist as our body's lean against one another. His lips are so soft. I wrap my arms around his neck as the kiss continues. His hands travel around my whole back, giving me goosebumps. While this happens, reality hits me again.

I pull away from his lips. "Nick...this would fuck everything up" I whisper as I rest my forehead on his shoulder. A few seconds pass by of this.

"If you don't want to, then we won't." He told me. He was a lot more respectful and caring than people made him out to be. I lift my head up still in each others arms. I take a deep breath and let go of him. I move my hand through my hair, not knowing what to say. I just walk out and join the group back in the living room.

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i have school again tomorrow...and i think i'm gonna die so uh yeah. Thank You for reading!! it means a lot 💛
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