ONE TRUE LOVE // N.M.

40: Take it Slow

I was super confused on why he was there. He just continued to walk back and forth a few steps. I grabbed a throw blanket from my front room and wrapped it around me. I then opened my front door. The cold, night air hit my face and legs instantly. Nick didn't hear me walk outside I guess, since he just continued pacing. I stood on my porch right in front of my door.

"nick?" i yelled out, squinting my eyes at him. He quickly stopped walking and turned to face me. His eyes were wide as took a deep breath. "what are you doing?" i yelled.

"uh i wanted to see you, but i'm just kinda, i don't know, waiting..."

"waitinggg for what?"

"to build up the courage to come knock on your door" He yelled back. There was a silence after this. He just stared back at me, waiting for a response. Him and I were not in the best terms right now, but I still felt bad.

"well...it's freezing outside, so I would come knock soon if I were you." i sort of joked. I turned back around and went inside, closing the door behind me. I expected him to come knock soon. I went back to my living room and watched my show standing up in the middle of the room. About a minute passed before there were a few knocks from someone behind my front door. I walked over to it and took a deep breath before opening it. Obviously, Nick stood on the other side.

"Hey" he said, shortly.

"Hi"

"Can I come in?

"...yeah" I stepped to the side as he walked in past me, to my living room. I closed the door and followed. Once I got in there, I found the remote for the TV and clicked the volume down enough to where we can have a conversation and actually be able to hear one another. I looked back up at Nick from across the room with his arms were crossed.

"you left sort of abrupt earlier and...i just- we need to work this out" he begins saying. I take a deep breath before speaking.

"yeah, we should." i say as I sit down on the couch, facing to the side. I pat the area next to me while looking at Nick and he comes and sits next to me, turned to me.

"y/n, you mean a lot to me and my apology earlier was sincere. I am so sorry for ever putting you in that po-" he began rambling.

"thank you for apologizing" I cut him off before he goes on and on. "I forgive you, Nick, don't worry."

"thank you" a sigh of relief washed over his face as his shoulders fell from being tense. He pulled me into a hug shortly after. It felt so good being in his arms again, even if it was some short, friendly hug. I had missed him.

"Is that all?" i asked as we pulled out of the embrace. He runs his hand through his hair, obviously nervous or stressed or something. He looked like he was thinking.

"no that's not all actually" he said.

"ooookay, what's up?"

"you didn't say anything about what I told you earlier." he said slowly, locking eyes with me. I knew what he was talking about, but I almost wanted to avoid it.

"you apologized, thats it"

"c'mon, you know what i'm talking about" He said. I looked down at the floor, for a second before looking back up. "I said I was falling in love with you." There was a pause.

"Nick-" i began.

"y/n, I don't want to be just friends with benefits anymore. I don't want to be just friends even. I never wanted to be. I always wanted more, you know that." I stared back at him with my lips folded in. I had to take in what he was saying. "I want to be in a real relationship with you" he whispered.

"Nick, I can't get into-"

"don't start with the wanting to not be tied down shit. You like me, too. You have feelings for me, do you not?" he started to get frustrated, raising his voice a little.

"...Yes, i have feelings for you."

"Then what is really stopping us from just being together?"

"it's dylan. ok? it's my last relationship." i said quickly as I raise my voice. "He messed with me a lot. He cheated on me a bunch, he verbally hurt me...shit he even hit me a few times, Nick." i blurted out. Nicks face fell from frustration.

"He hit you? How did no one know? Why didn't you tell me?"

"I never said anything. I made up excuses for him in my head, like it was my fault." I began to tear up, but held back full on crying. "It was emotionally draining being in that situation. It's not going to be easy for me to get into a new relationship." After I said this, Nick grabbed my hand and held it.

"y/n, I can promise you with everything i have that I would never make you go through something like that again." He said as he looked at me. "I am nothing like Dylan."

I just about melted when he said this. I had always felt safe while I was with Nick and I wasn't exactly nervous he would treat me like Dylan did, but it would be hard to trust again.

"I- I trusted Dylan and he did all of that to me... I have to watch after myself...it's hard and takes longer to earn my trust now, nick."

"Then i'll wait. I'll wait for you to trust me, because you will see i'm not anything like what Dylan was to you."

"i know you aren't."

"then what do you want?" he said.

"can we just take it slow?"

"yeah, yes" he says. I hugged him tightly as this hug was longer. I could feel his heartbeat as he we sat there for a second.

"i guess we're not very good at following rules, huh?" he said laughing and pulling out of the hug.

"You mean like the rules we had for being friends with benefits?"

"Yeah, no feelings and no sleeping over was kinda broke from the beginning, if you ask me." He said which made us laugh.

"There's still one more rule." i say. It was the one that said we could sleep with anyone we wanted to. Nick and I weren't exclusive, basically.

"oh...well, just so you know. I haven't had to use that rule since we started it." he said with a grin.

"You mean, you didn't sleep with anyone else the whole time?"

"nope, didn't need to"

"hmm well just so you know, i didn't either." I smiled. He began to lean in for a kiss slowly. His eyes looked from my eyes to my lips a few times. Our lips connected and it felt perfect. We moved in sync as my hand went into his hair. It started to get pretty intense, which I wanted, but couldn't. I pulled away before speaking.

"this isn't taking it slow" i laugh as my forehead rested on his. "you should go home, and I mean that in the nicest way" I say and he lifts his head off mine a few seconds later. He stood up, with our hands still interlocked. I walked him to the door and opened it.

"goodnight, y/n" he said before kissing a peck on my cheek.

"goodnight, nick."