She Way Out // M.H. //

// 51 //

im using my brother's computer, ew lol 

I never felt this way before, my stomach was turning as vomit was rising in my mouth. 

"Relax love, you're making me nervous." Matty whispered with a smile on his face as he drove through the hollywood hills. Yeah, i grew up on that side of town...and i never missed it. I sighed as i nodded my head running my sweaty palms on my thighs for probably the thousandth time, 

"I'm sorry babe..." i said running my fingers through my hair. I watched as Matty drove through the hills, his eyes constantly shifting from the road to me. "I love you." I said into the car s my fingers reached for his. My index finger grazed across his ass he loosened them off the steering wheel. 

"I love you Naomi, everything is going to be just fine." Matty said as his phone blurted directions to my home. I looked out the window, the same big white houses flashed by, the occasional joggers jogged up or down the hills, and the many palm trees swayed back and forth as we drove on. Everything about my childhood came flooding back to me. 

The walks with the babysitter, the halloween's were always fun, and of course the Christmas lights were strung across the streets like i remember. Everything would have been perfect, everything would have been amazing if i could share these memories with her. But of course my mother was no where to be found, ever. 

"Were here love." Matty said breaking away any nostalgia i was experiencing. I looked over to him taking in his appearance. Those bouncy curls framed his face covering his heavy eyes, his playful smile turning my frown into a smile of my own, and his black attire matching with my own. He looked fucking great, i smiled at him softly as he unlocked the door of the car. As we both exited the car, we were met with the blue house in front of us. I stood still as my heart began rising to my throat, i don't know if i was ready to do this, 

"I-i'm nervous." I said as i looked over to Matty, his eyes were focused on the burgundy gate and the blueness of my house. 

"Is it bad to say that i am too darling?" Matty said taking my hand, I smiled down at our intertwining fingers. I watched as out hands molded into one another, the familiar warmth resonating through me once again, 

"Just stay here Matty." I muttered as i shut my eyes attempting to conjur up some courage. 

"Stay where?" Matty asked looking down at me curiously, i inhaled a deep december breath as i shut my eyes. 

"With me." I said opening my eyes slowly, i looked to Matty as a smile stood on his face. 

" Where else would i be except with you." Matty answered running his thumb across my hand, i love him. I love this man so much, i love the way it feels when he tightens the grip on my hand. I love the way it feels when he kisses me, i love the way his voice romanticizes almost any word, but one thing i love the most is the sparkle in his eyes when he looks at me. Especially now as my shaky hand pressed the buzzer on the gate. Suddenly the gates creaked open as Matty and i walked to the front of my house, 

"I'm just going to say this now, i did not expect you to be..." Matty trailed off as he began looking around the property, 

"Rich?" I finished for him, Matty looked over to me a soft smile spreading across his face, 

"Yes love." Matty said as we passed the ridiculously enormous foutain, the colors changing every three seconds, 

"Im glad, i'm sick of this lifestyle." I said as we made our way to the steps of my front door. As my heels clicked up the stairs my heart began pounding against my chest. Matty squeezed my hand tighter as he rang the doorbell, as the familiar sound chimed through the house a dark figure began making its way through to the door. I looked over to Matty who's eyes stood straight in front of him as we both knew it was my mother coming closer to the door.