Yours, SS [Book 1]

Chapter 47

Halloween was upon everyone's mind. But none more so than Severus. He spent the week avoiding Amilia after leaving her to cry in the hallway. He was ashamed of himself. After having laid himself in bed that night, he realized he should have embraced her in some way, provided her with some comfort at least. Instead, he left her there, her sobs echoing through the walls that night. He could not bear to be around her after that for fear of creating more tears of sadness.

Now the day was upon them, Amilia had busied herself with wedding planning and creating her costume for the ball that night. Severus watched as she did her best not to show that it was hurting her as well. She would continue having conversations at supper and laughing. No one could see behind the mask she was wearing, except for him. "Amilia?" Her smile faded as she turned her chestnut eyes to him, "Might I speak with you privately?

She slid on a cheeky smile before waving off the conversation that she was having. Severus pulled out her chair, and she followed him quietly into the small corridor where they had had their altercation earlier in the year. "What is it, Severus?"

"I wanted to apologize."

"No need. I understand that you have other obligations tonight." Her eyes flicked over his shoulder.

He glanced over his shoulder to find Filch picking up his cat. Then man sheepishly grinned before leaving the area. "That is not what..."

Amilia held up her hand, "I know." She waited for more from him, but he could not muster up the words. The urge to tell her the truth burned his mouth. He knew that Amilia could sense something was amiss, different from how much he had moped about last year and this year. She sighed, "I am...furious. Still. You did an extremely tactless thing the other night, leaving me in the hall like that."

"I know."

"I do not know what happened in the past...obviously, but I doubt that anyone, even your mother, would have ever been pleased to know that you did that to someone you love." Her words were harsh; they dug into his skin with each syllable accentuating the already there wounds. Slowly she walked up to him, "I do not say these things to hurt you. Severus, I say them because they are necessary. I need to be able to say how I feel, and I feel as if that was the worst pain I have experienced thus far in our relationship."

"Thus far?"

"Yes. Being called a slut...that hurt but not as much as being left to cry in the hallway in the dark."

Severus just looked at her. She had bags under her eyes; her hair was not as shiny as usual. She slouched and not in her usual relaxed slouch, either. She looked worn down, sleepless. Have I been all the cause of this? "I am so sorry."

"Is that so?"

"Yes...very much so." He pulled her into his chest and laid his head on top of hers. It was not much to offer at the moment, but it was something.

"I take it you will not be coming though."

"No, my love. I will not. This night is the hardest...but I promise I will get better over time." Is this a promise that I can keep?

"Then, I have one question."

"What?"

"Pick a damn color. I already decided on purple; now you need to pick one."

Severus chuckled, "I suppose I can do that. Silver. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect." Amilia pulled away from him and gave him a weak smile before brushing her lips against his cheek. "Please, do not wallow in your sorrow alone...I am here. All you have to do is ask."