Yours, SS [Book 1]

Chapter 58

Severus laid in his bed, his mind reeling. I do not know if I can do this anymore. She sounded so upset, did she actually mean it? Was it just something to be said to bring the conversation to an end? Was this the end? Was this another Lily situation? Would he be forever alone after this?

"No." He moaned, covering his face; how could I be so stupid!? Twice in a lifetime that I have hurt someone so much that they leave me forever! Wallowing in self-pity, he rose from the comforts of his sheets, snatching his wand up and tapping on the wall. The stone bricks dissolved as he reached inside the little cubby, pulling out a small wooden box. A thin layer of grey dust had settled over the top of it.

He sat it on the bed next to him, gently wiping it off with his shirt. It creaked softly when he opened it. Severus smiled softly as his fingers caressed the contents. Carefully, he lifted out a small broach, a black cat that blinked furiously in the candlelight; it was his mother's. She wore it to all of his special events. His father was furious when it went missing after her death, he wanted to pawn it as he did with many her items, but Severus had hidden it quickly when he was out a bar one night.

Underneath the broach was a small roll of parchment, gently he unrolled it:

Happy birthday Severus, I love you very much. I know it is not much, but here is a new quill and a small tube for your favorite potion.

Love, Mom.

Exhaling, he set the scroll aside. These were the keepsakes he could hold onto, softly reminding him of a gentler time in his life.

Next, a small flower pressed and yellowed with age. This was the first item that Lily had used magic on. They were in a field together, Severus was telling her all about the Wizarding World, and one of the first things she tried to do with magic, in his presence, was make this little flower bloom. She was very talented, even at a young age. Her kindness reminded him of his mother, a warmth he wanted to have for the rest of his life. That was when he knew he loved Lily.

Setting aside the little flower, he picked up a small photo. She smiled back at him, her red hair glistening in the sunlight. He sat there, next to her on his trunk, waiting to board the train to Hogwarts. It was one of the happiest days of his life. Then he had to ruin it all by calling her a Mud-Blood. Severus was just so angry that day! He caught her walking back from Hogsmead with her hand in Potters. Her bright smile was turned to the parts face; he wanted it to shine on him and only him. She had grown distant over the years, settling into her classes for her future, disapproving of his interest in the Dark Arts.

Clutching the photo against his chest, Severus laid back, Oh...how I miss you, Lily. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to imagine her. He wanted to remember her but desired to let her go so that he would not hurt Amilia...more than he already has. "I am such an idiot."

Amilia sat at her desk, grading. So many students who were failing potions, and honestly, it was not because of the brewing, though some were poor in that area. It was generally all the written assignments that brought their grade down. They did their best in the early stages, but as they continued through their years at Hogwarts, they gave up. She did not blame them, Severus was harsh when it came to brewing, but he needed to be; they were often creating dangerous mixtures and using extremely harmful ingredients. However, when it came to the essays, he was downright cruel. She had never really experienced it, but she saw the comments on her classmates' scrolls; they were vicious.

How could you write such drivel? This essay put me to sleep; you clearly did not take the time to listen to my lectures, the lowest marks possible. This is written about the wrong part of the plant. You fail.