Yours, SS [Book 1]

Chapter 51

Amilia parted from Severus's side after they walked around the grounds. For the majority of it, they did not speak. Amilia felt unsettled; he seemed distant and yet trying to stay attentive to her. She wanted so much to utter the words that he hated to hear; she wanted to ask what or who was lily. That sinking feeling from the night before returned, and she felt sick to her stomach. He had walked her to her classroom, but she could not stay there. She had to ask these questions that were rattling around in her head. So she walked to the hospital wing.

"Professor? Is everything all right?"

Amilia lifted her eyes from the floor to see the young Ravenclaw sitting cross-legged on his bed. She smiled at him, "Of course. Why do you ask?"

"You look upset is all."

"Young man, you should be resting!" Poppy popped out of her office, scolding the boy. He protested.

"If he is feeling up for a walk, Professor Snape is finished grading his assignments."

Poppy looked at her and then back at the boy, "Craftman, escort Stannard to the dungeons. Make sure he does not fall or get hurt." A fifth-year Hufflepuff appeared from the cupboard in the corner and held out an arm for the boy.

Amilia turned to Poppy as the doors closed. "Are we alone?" Poppy nodded and led the way into her office.

"What is the importance of lily?"

Poppy scrunched up her face, "I'm not sure what you are asking."

Amilia rolled her eyes, "Severus muttered the word lily last night when I came to bed, and today, on the castle grounds, he repeated it. I do not think he knows that I heard him."

"I do no think this is something you should be asking me." Poppy reclined behind her desk.

"Ugh! I cannot ask him myself!" Amilia slammed her hand down on the arm of the chair. "I want the truth, and he will not give it to me!"

"How do you know that if you do not ask him!?" Poppy snapped.

"Because he won't tell me a bloody thing about his past. He absolutely refuses to open up unless something slips, and then he feels obligated! I only know he is a half-blood because he mentioned his father!"

Poppy leaned forward, "I cannot tell you. Just ask him yourself."

"I can't!" Amilia screamed, "If I go to him, it will not be a simple, 'Severus, please tell me what causes you such pain, and what does lily mean?'. Do you know why?" She paused and watched the older woman's face shift from frustration to curiosity. Sinking back into the chair, she whispered, "Because I want to pry the information from his lips in a most horrible way that would break any trust we have. I see it every time I use it, when not in good fun. He hates it; it makes him feel powerless."

"Amilia, darling...there is not much that I cannot offer. Nevertheless, do not set this aside, you know all too well how wounds fester when left alone."

Severus sat behind his desk, the booklet of wedding plans laid open before him when he heard a knock. "Enter."

"Professor, I am just here to collect the scrolls that you have graded. Professor Hubbard said that they were completed." The boy's voice wavered.

Severus noted that they looked somewhat exhausted. Amilia had filled him in as to how his health, while good, still took its toll on him at times. He wondered if the walk from the hospital wing was too much. "You did not need to walk all this way. I was going to send a Prefect to you."