Tom holland oneshots

Dyslectic

Thanks to @abstar_unicorn

I've never been able to read, write or speak very well. From the age of 3-7 mum and dad just thought I was a bit behind but as I grew up is became clear it probably wasn't going to get any better. It hasn't. When reading words they seem to get lost in my mind. I know what they are, sometimes, and when I go to say the word it doesn't work. My mouth doesn't work.

Don't even get me started on letters too similar and too close together or tongue twisters, there clearly not English. I struggle not to stumble over the second word of any complex sentences. Sometimes even words like 'mad max' or 'pretty putty' is hard to get out. It sucks especially when I have to read lines every day. Not as bad as public speaking class though I'll say that.

Speaking and reading isn't the only problem, have you even tried to learn the alien language called 'maths?' I wish I hadn't. And then when they mix maths, English and science...god I'm so glad I'm no longer in school. I always struggled with the wordy questions like about a random girl called sandy and her crisps and how much it would cost her to...' you know what it doesn't matter. Basically letters won't stay in place and nor will numbers. Sentences only make sense after repeating them many times over and over again.

Okay so what's my job? I have to read, memorize and recite words while acting out a scene. Oh and also I'm playing a nerd who uses long long words. Yeah I know this is a dream. No really I do love this job but being dyslexic isn't the proudest thing to tell people so I don't but just cause they don't know doesn't mean I don't struggle.

Infinity war, my 3rd marvel movie. Filming civil war was a breeze, I had to talk very fast sure but other than that it wasn't that hard however far from home was another story. I had a lot more long words and I still spoke fast...let's just say I wasted a lot of time messing up but it wasn't horrible.

So today we are doing a read through, basically a load of us will sit down at a huge table and read through our lines to see if anything needed to change. I've only had the script for 3 days so I'm not too confident.

We've already gone through Thor's first scene and iron man/ dc stranges lines. My turn.

"Hey man. What's up mr stark?

"Kid where'd you come from?"

"A field trip to OH MOMAAaaA!"

Okay so that wasn't to bad at all. No fancy words and it wasn't too fast. Easy peasy. I watched in awe as all the other actors spoke or yelled their lines. It's amazing just sitting in this chair. Oh wait where are we in the script? Who's speaking...

"Wow you really are a loyal peace of outerwear aren't you?" Okay that's Roberts line so I'm...oh shit it's me. Okay where am I?

"S-speaking about loyalty." Wait. Oh no it says speed up. I can't read that fast. And I'm meant to speak over him. Okay this is going to confuse me but it's fine let's do this.

"What the."

"I know what your gonna say"

"You shouldn't be here" wait where's my next line? I lost track he spoke to fast and I looked up and now I'm lost.

"Umm, oh. I was gonna go home but it was s-suck no such a long way and I...no wait okay I'm sorry can I try that again." Oh god this is embarrassing I want to be sucked into the floor.

"Okay, try to slow down we can speed it up later." Everyone's looking at me. Ugh what I would give to just be at home. No one else ever does this. I can't believe this. Okay stop panicking let's do it.

"What the."

"I know what your gonna say"

"You shouldn't be here"

"I was gonna go home but it was such a long a long way down and"

"Now your here" why did he get all the easy lines!?

"Then I got stuck to the side of the ship and this suit is rid..ridic-Ulous-ly ridiculously intuitive...sorry big words umm." I scratched the back of my neck as I feel my face go a deep shade of purple. Worst night of my life.

"Are you struggling to read it?" Okay might as well tell them. Maybe they'd have some sympathy or help me out. Okay let's go. Or they'd fire me...no. Not happening.

"Sorry, um, I'm dyslectic so it's hard to read things sometimes." I had to do this in front of the whole cast. Really! Today is not my day. I feel everyone's eyes on me but no one seems to be laughing so that's a win.

"Okay do you want us to print the lines bigger next time?" I just nod. This is gonna be a long rehearsal.

About 2 painful hours later we had finished all the scenes today. We changed a few things around and overall it was a success except for me admitting I can hardly fucking read anything. It's okay though no ones being weird about it.

Sorry I wasn't really sure how to end this one. My mums always thought I have dyslexia but we've never tested it so I tried to explain it best as possible but it probably wasn't spot on.

Happy pride month and I hope your all staying safe during the riots and protesting. ACAB and black lives matter.

If you feel unsafe or want someone to talk to my messages is always open
Jay🦊🧡🏳️‍🌈