Cliche (Candy Stories #5)

Chapter 9: Worst kind of near

***

It was one of those days that I had woke up with big eyes. Walang kurap-kurap o groggy pondering between dreams and reality. Basta nagbukas ang mata ko dahil alam kong umaga na.

Did I sleep at all? I wasn't sure. Kagabi, inihatid ako ni Maxwell sa bahay pagkatapos naming kumain at maglakad-lakad. He talked casually about work, food, and the big ferris wheel. I got a feeling na parang gusto niyang sumakay ro'n but I kept quiet. Na-stuck ang isip ko sa sinabi niyang pangarap niya.

If I looked at last night from an spectator's perspective, he would sound like he was confessing when he said what he said. But I know that's wishful thinking. He wouldn't like me romantically. Bakit eh marami naman siyang ibang choice? It would be me versus everyone else, and everyone else was way better. This was not college, and even back then, he had a lot of options. He was well-liked. He was being confessed to. He only had to smile to get who he wanted.

But I still froze with what he said. Alam ko, I still hoped. I still have that stupid wishful thinking. All because it's him. He has power over me. Power na sana, hindi na lang umuulit.

I don't want to love him again because that means breaking my heart again. It's enough that I had loved him before. Bakit uulit na naman ako? Bakit siya na naman uli? Bakit hindi na lang iba?

I sighed. I was overthinking. Samantalang siya, baka nga ni hindi ako iniisip ngayon, kundi kausap ang baby niya.

'Di ba? He has a girlfriend. That Maxine.

I sighed again bago bumangon at nagsimulang maghanda para sa trabaho. Maaga kami ini-expect ni Maxwell sa The Valentine.

***

Pinipigilan ko ang sarili kong mag-bite ng nails habang naa-anxious sa paghihintay. Mag-thirty minutes na 'ko sa office pero wala pang paramdam si Maxwell. Hindi naman siya 'yong tipo na nale-late. Nag-message na rin ako sa kanya pero walang reply. Nakapagwo-worry dahil baka may nangyaring masama sa kanya or what. Although kagabi, nakapag-text naman siya ng goodnight.

Should I call him? I should call him... I thought.

I was fidgeting for a while on my swivel chair bago ako nagkalakas ng loob na mag-dial. His phone on the other end kept on ringing. Lumalala ang kaba ko habang walang sumasagot. When the ringing stopped, I dialed again. Sa panlimang try ko, parang malalaglag na ang puso ko sa dilim. Pangit na ang mga naiisip ko. Like, baka naaksidente siya on the way to here and I don't even know it.

Nang may sumagot sa phone, hindi ako prepared.

"Maxwell!" Kahit ako, nagulat sa sarili kong boses. "I mean... hello? Maxwell?"

"This is Yigel, Aurora," sabi ng nasa kabilang linya.

"Uhm... Chef Yigel of Le Bon Apetit?"

"Yeah. We haven't met... but well, nice to hear about you."

"Uh... Nice to hear you, too. Ano... Nasa'n si Maxwell? May nangyari bang masama sa kanya?"

Matagal na walang sagot sa kabilang linya. Like as if, Chef Yigel was thinking whether to tell me what he knew.

"Okay, here's the thing. He's still sleeping," sabi ni Chef.

Sleeping? Pero late na kami para sa The Valentine. "Uh..."

"May sakit siya," dagdag pa. "He kept on saying that he needed to be at a certain restaurant, bago nakatulog uli. I told him to take the day off, pero baka 'pag nagising siya maya-maya, umalis pa rin. Hihintayin mo raw siya, eh. Wala ka raw kasama."

"Why... Why would he think of me if he's sick?"

"I don't know, Aurora. You should ask him."

Napalunok ako. Kaya ko bang magtanong sa kanya tungkol do'n? Nang hindi nagbe-brain freeze?