Cliche (Candy Stories #5)

Chapter 14 part 2

TCWDM: This is unedited, so sorry na agad sa errors. ALSO, huwag basahin nang hindi emotionally prepared. Keep safe, everyone!

***

Everyone said that I worry too much. That I was an overthinker. That the bad was almost always just in my head and unlikely to happen. On my way to the hospital, I kept reassuring myself of that flaw.

I was just overthinking. I was just worrying too much. The bad was just in my head. Hope wouldn't be too cruel to me. Even if Hope would be cruel to me, it wouldn't be to Mommy. Because she's a good person. Because she didn't deserve the sickness, the pain of her disease, the uncertainty of her days with us… She didn't deserve to be robbed off the chance to say goodbye.

Nasa labas ng ICU si Manang Thelma nang dumating ako. I was fear-stricken and my face was drenched with tears. I couldn't will myself to speak. Mahigpit na hinawakan ni Manang ang dalawang kamay ko bago naluluhang tumingin sa akin.

"Bakit ganyan ang itsura mong bata ka? Mag-aalala ang Mommy mo niyan sa 'yo," sabi niya at hinaplos ang buhok ko.

I was hopeless with panting and sobbing. Pinaglalaruan ako ng sarili kong paghinga.

"Nasa loob ang daddy at kuya mo…" sabi ni Manang.

She helped me reach the door. She even opened them for me.

Nanghihina ang buong katawan ko nang matuon ang luhaan kong mga mata kay Mommy. Ilang aparato ang nakakabit sa kanya. She's even intubated.

I kept remembering her smile. Was she suffering so much these last few days and we didn't notice? Did she hide it in her smile? In her soft voice?

"You should smile more, Princess. Show your face more. Hindi tayo nag-salon at nagpaayos ng buhok mo para lang maitago mo lagi ang mukha mo…"

"You're beautiful, Aurora. People around you knows. One day, you'll see it too."

"I'm happy that you grow up to be kind and caring, anak."

"I want to see you smile more often."

"I love you, Princess."

She always smiles. She always, always smiles… Kahit nahihirapan siya o nasasaktan siya o may-sakit siya… lagi siyang nakangiti sa akin.

She would tell me good things and smile. She would say nice words to me and smile. She'd scold me then advise me and smile. She'd say she loves me and smile.

She always, always smile… na madaling makapagpalimot na may dinadamdam siya.

"Mommy…" mahinang tawag ko. Hindi ako makahakbang mula sa pinto.

Lumingon sa 'kin si Daddy at nanlumo siya nang magtagpo ang mga mata namin.

"Baby…" sabi niya at lumapit sa 'kin.

Yumakap ako sa braso ni Dad para hindi mabuwal. Para kayanin kong humakbang. Nakaalalay naman siya.

We couldn't speak. Silence and sadness was too heavy in that room… no one could say a word.

Kuya was gritting his teeth habang panay ang bagsak ng luha sa mga mata niya. Si Daddy lang ang nagpipigil. Ako, halos mabulag na sa mga luha ko. Halos madapa nang lumapit kay Mommy. I held her hand na may IV.

She's warm. She's still warm.

"Mommy… w-wake up…" I managed to say. I kissed her hand--paulit-ulit. "Mommy… please… wake up. Please… please… I'm scared, Mommy…"

Sumubsob ako sa kamay niya at doon tinalo ng pag-iyak.

***
"We did everything… Akala namin, papunta sa paggaling ang mommy n'yo. Akala lang pala. Aggressive ang lymphoma at kumalat hanggang sa utak niya. Now... she's…" Lumunok si Dad bago tumikhim. Kumintab sa luha ang mga mata niya habang tiim ang mga labi. Namuti ang kamao niyang nakapatong sa tuhod niya.