Some Things Fall Away (Blue Bloods Fanfiction)

↞ Chapter Fifteen ↠

Season Four, Episode Nineteen

I had been laying in bed for hours unable to actually fall asleep. Every time I was just about to fall asleep I would suddenly find myself thinking about the case or the files I had pulled together to send to Frank. Mostly that.

And then I was hungry, I hadn't eaten the rigatoni and I could practically smell it wafting through the air of the flat.

"Bloody hell." I mutter, rolling myself off of my side of the bed and hissing at the cold floor under my feet. I grab a blanket, wrapping it around my shoulders and squinting at the alarm clock on Jameson's bed side table.

12:42 a.m.

I'd eaten at worse times.

I slowly made my way to the kitchen, holding my hands close to my chest as I blew warm air into them. Usually Jameson shared the bed to me, and that man is like a furnace. His absence was rather shocking to me as I tried to heat my hands up.

I grabbed the box of rigatoni from the fridge, putting the entire container into the microwave and setting it on low.

It only took a few minutes to heat all the way through, and as it finished I grabbed a fork and started to eat it straight from the box.

My mind wandered again, when I got home a few hours ago, Danny had sent more information my way and I had already taken a look at it before I attempted to fall asleep, but I found myself drifting back to looking at it once again.

There was a secret Scholarship program that Daniels had been involved with it, and had some sort of secret girlfriend through the program. It was all a sketchy business and though it took some time TARU was able to track down who was running the website and where. Some little coffee shop in the East Village, he was there everyday, which is where Danny and I would go first thing tomorrow.

As a last hurrah he had gone to have a word with the young woman dating Daniels and gotten hundreds of love notes and emails between the two. Some were rather vulgar, but others could be cute, if it wasn't the fuel for an affair.

A loud thunk hit the door and I jolted in my seat, the fork that I had been holding in my mouth fell to the table, splattering tomato sauce across the papers in front of me.

I mutter a few curse words, forgetting the thunk that sounded by the door as I tried to clean the sauce off of the papers.

A groan caught my ears and I turned, watching with a smile as Jameson made his way inside just a bit tipsy.

"I hope you didn't drive like that." I laughed lightly after I had said it, watching as Jameson  turned to look at me comically slow. The laughter died in my throat as I noticed how sad he looked. I stood and crossed the room in a few steps, reaching my hands out to Jameson to hold him.

He pulled away, and I felt a pang.

"I'm so sorry." His voice was soft as he spoke, and so quiet that I almost didn't hear it. Jameson repeated it louder, "I'm so sorry." He didn't look up at me, and I felt another pang in my heart.

"What is it? What's happened?" I asked, my hands still held out to him though he would not take them.

When he looked at me there were tears in his eyes, and I forgot the fact that he had pulled away from me, I took the final step towards him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him to my chest. Jameson's head landed on my collar bone, his hands pressed into my chest, his fingers gripping the material.

"Eddie kissed me."

I felt myself go pale, but I held Jameson firm.

Edit Janko, Eddie to all of her friends, is Jameson's partner, and apparently the cause of him being sad. I pressed a kiss to the top of his head, the blanket slowly slid from my shoulders as I held Jameson.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered again, and I looked down at him, though he could not see that I was. "I pulled away the second she did, but she did it in the first place, and I am so sorry."

"You don't need to apologize Jameson." I didn't blame him for the interaction, and I didn't want him to apologize for something he had no control over. Jameson took a step back, pulling himself from my arms and wrapping his hands tightly around himself. As if he was trying to make himself smaller.

"But it happened." Jameson muttered, and I firmly shook my head.

"And I don't blame you," I felt so awful that he felt this way about what had happened, but I did not blame him, and that was the truth. "I love you Jameson."

I didn't reach for him, but I didn't cross my arms, showing that I was ready for him to come back to me, but only when he felt he could.

Jameson looked up at me, his eyes meeting mine, and he still looked ready to cry. "I love you too." The words sort of spilled out, and I smiled lightly.

He closed the gap between us, the force of his hands hitting my chest knocked me back a step, his lips met mine. I could taste the scotch on his lips, awfully bitter and a stark contrast to the softness of his touch. My hands made their way around his waist, my fingers looping through his belt loops and pulling him closer.

But he was drunk, and still sad, so I pulled my lips off of Jameson and smiled down at him. "Let's go to bed my love."

The pasta and paperwork was left forgotten on the table.