Remember Me (sequel of Shouldn't Have Kissed You)

chapter 32

Dedicated to _zaiba_

"This is all my fault." Reigns said while walking around the small office.

He had drove all the way here after his fight with Maya. Things weren't supposed to turn the way they did but they did. It was too late and he couldn't do anything other than come here. He rubbed his face with his palms and continued to pace.

Reigns stopped before turning to his psychiatrist, "What am I supposed to do?" He asked her and for once, he learned that he had asked her that same question since he began to see her.

It's like he could not make his own decisions. He dependent on his psychiatrist in ever decision that he made. She was always there for him. To help him in whatever way she could.

What about his decision?

Reigns laughed. He was so pathetic at making decisions. The ones that he had made had been do useless. The worst and he still kept making them. Like a few minutes ago, he had called the radio station just to ask Chris to stay away from his. No, she wasn't his. Maya wasn't his wife. He was another man's wife. She was still married to Chris.

And maybe, she was still in love with him. So, he was the one who had no right. He had no right to keep Maya away from her loved ones. He had no right to keep away from her brother. A man who had broken down on the day of her burial. He had no right at all.

But he did it anyway. He called Chris in public just to tell him to stay away from his own wife. The person that he had loved for the past seven years. The woman whom had made Chris not to look at any one else. The woman who held his heart that it wasn't ready to let go. He had no right.

Reigns rubbed his face for the hundredth time. It was really frustrating. Him keeping everything from Maya. Him letting her think that Chris is the bad guy when he, is the bad one. The one she isn't supposed to trust. The one that she should be afraid of. He shouldn't be the one she sleeps with. Shares the bed with but she thinks what he taught her for the past six years is the right thing.

How cruel could he be?

No, how far couldn't he go?

That should be the question. That should be what he should be afraid of. Because so far, he was beyond repentance. He had gone so deep and so far for any redemption.

Reigns walked towards the window. It had become his favourite place besides that worn out leather couch. There, he could learn a lot just by looking outside.

"Reigns, we've already gone through this." His psychiatrist said in a low voice. "In fact, this is what I tell you every time we've this section."

"I know," he said looking out. "And each time, I think there is another way. A way out of this. A way to make everything okay."

It's true. He wanted to make everything feel better. For himself. For Chris. And most importantly, for Maya. She deserved better. And he was no better at all.

"There will never be a better way out of this." As always, she was right. "The truth is the only thing that will set you free."

Reigns laughed. Really hard for that matter. He knew and she knew that was impossible. He was too deep to be set free. Even if the truth came out today, he will still be hurt. And who was he going to blame for all that? For the misfortune that fall upon him? Who?

It was himself. He had brought it upon himself. He had hurt his poor soul for that matter. It was him and no one else.

Reigns stayed outside for a long while. He dared not to say anything because he had no idea of what to say. His psychiatrist might think it was easy but wasn't. It never was. And soon Chris was coming after him. Scratch that, it was anyone who loved Maya. And that was the whole country.