Remember Me (sequel of Shouldn't Have Kissed You)

chapter 42

Dedicated to MsFlawlessKhan

Maya wiped away tears as she got of the bed. It was really trying but what else could she do? The tears kept on running on their own and she had no idea on how to stop them. How to make them go away despite her not taking much water the past one week. One whole week since she got her memories back. Since she realized that she had been living a lie. And to think she was going Tobe happy when she got them back.

But no, another tear slide down her cheek and again she wiped it roughly. She didn't want this. She didn't need to cry but she couldn't help herself at. Not even once. Maya walked to the bathroom and stripped naked before getting under the shower and letting the cold water flow over her. It felt like deja Vu as she got out once she was done with the shower and her body was shaking.

She had no idea if it's out of coldness or the tears that still kept on flowing. Pulling out a blue sweatpant along with a white sweater, she wore them and then took her place on the bed. She pulled her legs up and laid her head on her knees. That's how her routine had turned to be. Her getting out of bed, taking a shower and locking herself in that room for the past one week. She hadn't even seen the twins since walked in this house and for some reason, it was for greater good.

How you ask? She wasn't willing to let them see her this weak. This useless as she had been for the past one week. She couldn't even fake a smile for the sake of her kids without tears flowing down. The twins didn't need that. They didn't need a weak mother as her. They needed someone who was willing to face her problem head on and that person wasn't her. She wasn't the one, at least the past one week.

A tear escaped her and to be honest, she was tired of wiping them away. Done with it and that's why she let the flow as she looked into the space thinking of so many things. Things like why Leonel of all the people in the world hurt her the way he did. Why he chose the same path as the rest of the people she knew. The people she so loved and yet, they hurt her in the worst way ever.

It hurt. It hurt to be betrayed by you loved ones. Hurt to know no matter what, you had no one besides you but yourself. It did and she felt like pulling her heart out. If only they could be taken out of their ribcage. If only one could exchange their heart whenever, she would be the first to replace her own. She wouldn't stay with her damn heart. The one that trusted so easily.

The same heart that loved as easily as it trusted. And she hated it. Hated the fact that despite what her father did to her she still loved him. The fact that despite Chris hurting her at the beginning of their marriage, she still chose him when Leo had been there loving her. She hated the same fact that despite her brother knowing whom he was leaving her with, he still left her behind with her father. And still, her poor heart loved him as much as she loved him before he left her behind. No, it wasn't even the same way but more. She loved her brother more and before shit went up in flames, she had hope that he would come one day. He would be back for her and he did. Only to find things were different from how he left them.

And now, what about now? Was she willing to still love Leonel after what he did to her? Six years of lies from him. Six good years of him loving her and at the same time lying to her? Was she willing to forgive him? Forgive him for kidnapping her and raping her each time he touched her?

Maya shook her head as more tears flowed down her cheeks. To think that one week would be enough to get her shit together but no, it wasn't enough. Even a year wasn't. She turned her head to look at the window where the curtains hadn't been drawn away for the past one week. They still were that way but that didn't stop the sun rays from penetrating through them. It never did.

Then why was it difficult for her to penetrate through the pain? Why was it so hard for her to move on. To become a shark in this world. She wanted to be one. A shark in order to survive what was happening to her but again, she was always a fish and fish get eaten by sharks. And in her life, Leonel was the shark that swallowed her whole for the past six years. Six good years of being deceived. Six years of leaving a lie...