Damon Salvatore: I will always choose you.

Pain

EDITED// 12-29-21

Betrayal is the breaking of trust. It's what ruins relationships  and ultimately hurts someone. Trust is a very hard thing to earn and when it's broken it's an even harder thing to regain.

Growing up for 17 years and not knowing that the people closest to you, the people you trusted and loved, the people that have been there with you through thick and thin have been lying to your face.

Was each word they said a lie? Was each moment just a fantasy for them? Was I just apart of their game to make them happy?

Did they really love me? Did my Dad really love me? Did they prefer Jeremy because he was their own? Were Elena and I outcasts?

All theses thoughts whizzed through my head like a tornado with no way of getting answers. 

I understood that they didn't want to tell us when we were younger but they should have told us when we got to high school. Cowards, both of them. 

I felt like I was numb. I couldn't feel my body, I couldn't feel any emotions. I couldn't even force myself back into reality. I just sat there on the edge of Elena's bed, staring blankly at the bed.

I couldn't move or speak. All I could do was think.

"I gotta go." I said in a monotone. Without looking at Elena, I stiffly got off of her bed and walked downstairs. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion.

I got into my car and drove with no destination in mind.

After driving around for 30 minutes, I finally stopped the car. Ironically on Wickory Bridge.

I got out of my car (well the one we were renting because I crashed my other one) and sat on the the edge of the bridge with my legs dangling off the side.

I sat there for a while, looking into the horizon. My mind didn't stop thinking.

Are my real parents still alive? Why didn't they want Elena and I? Why hasn't anyone told us yet? What's Jeremy going to think?

I looked down at the water and my gaze immediately landed on the spot where the car landed.

It should've been me. Why did I survive but my parents didn't. They were more important than me. My Dad was a doctor, he saved people! What did I do to deserve to live when my Dad was a doctor?

I finally let out all of the emotions that I had been bottling up since the death of my parents.

Sadness.

Anger.

Frustration.

Hurt.

Pain.

Over a years worth of grief and pain finally being felt.

(Play the song above)

I stood up on top of the barricades, tears streaming down my face. I screamed out in frustration, only stopping when all I could do was sob.

My parents were dead.

I finally let that sink in.

The pain was unimaginable. I didn't think it was possible for someone to feel this much pain and sadness.

My body was shaking with the violent sobs that left my mouth. I jumped down from the barricades and laid horizontal in the middle of the road.

As if God was crying too, the heavens opened and it started raining heavily. But I didn't move, I just lay there, crying my heart out until there were no more tears to cry, until I was numb.