The Will of Two Worlds (Avatar Female OC)

82. Battle Paint

For a long while I sat in stunned silence, unsure of what to say in response to such words before I decided maybe it is best I just don't mention them. My mind was still spinning in circles over his words and I began to believe them somewhat. I was still unsure, I just want to do good by Ca'lil and I think it might be best that I distance her from me, but I won't mention this to Tsu'tey. He seems very adamant that I am the right person to help Ca'lil, which is shocking coming from the person to hated me waving at Na'vi children. I just... I cannot believe Tsu'tey sees me in such light. I mean, how can he? I knew of a monster sitting in their backdoor practically, a person who I knew was the same type the kills and take with no care for life and didn't tell them of how deadly the RDA here on Pandora are being.

How can he say I am... I am pure hearted when I was so focused on getting what I need from the Omaticaya and then leaving Pandora back for Earth? That I had little care for the problems this planet is going through, only for Earth and restoring it. If I had not fallen for Tsu'tey unknowingly, thus falling in love with this planet, would I still have done the same, without my Cyrosickness? Would I have taken the information I needed after five years here before jumping on a Shuttle back to Earth, not caring of what the RDA is doing?

I guess I will never know.

I would like to think I would have done all I could to help, but I knew the truth in my heart. That narrow minded woman who arrived here on Pandora had but one focus and that was her Spirit Quest, nothing else mattered.

While I have changed, I have still done many things wrong, failed in many ways, so why does Tsu'tey say my heart is pure? My heart is eroded by grief, pain, guilt, and fear, it is hardly pure. The worse part is knowing that, if I did not discover my approaching death, I might not have shown such care for lives other than my home on Earth, which only just added to my guilt, knowing that, with me knowing my time is short, I wanted nothing more than to improve the lives of others around me.

I held very still as Tsu'tey painted swirls round my collarbone before raising his hand away from my skin for more paint and moving on to painting my stomach as I closed my eyes again, ignoring my embarrassment and other unpleasant emotions, just enjoying the last quiet bit of time I get to spend with my best friend.

After some time, with Tsu'tey passing over my cheekbones and forehead once or twice with another color and down my arms once more, he stopped and I opened my eyes to meet his. He looked pleased by the battle paint he did as I raised my arm and studied the thicker lines of white, the thin lines of yellow and the rings of dark gray wrapping different parts of my arm. I met his eyes once more and was surprised by the soft smile on his lips as he stared at me.

"You look nothing like Dumb Twig I met in woods around Hometree." He said in a soft, quiet voice as I stared at him in shock. He seems determined recently to shock me with these big changes in his personality, white he is still the same Tsu'tey I know, there as a lot he has shown me recently that is not at all the Tsu'tey I know and this is one of those times. He doesn't seem guarded, angry, scowling or irritated. No, he just seems... happy. I didn't know what to think of that as I stared at him.

"Well, that Dumb Twig had a lot of problems in her views of things that your Proud Scowl attitude made her rethink how she sees the world." I said jokingly, thinking of how I must look now. I got a brief glimpse of the beads and feathers the children put together with my braids. The beads were a mix of yellow, green, and white mixed in with mostly green feathers and a few yellow ones, but most prominently my Stellar's Sea Eagle feather stood out the most among the mix, on top of the bone and feather creation gifted to me by the Kekunan. Then there was the clothing gifted to me by the Tawkami that covered a lot more than my old cloth clothing did, yet fit to my body more than that brown cloth did.