Symphony || Remus Lupin

XVIII

Warning: Contains triggers

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Two weeks past and Myra hasn't even glanced at Remus. Well, she tried not to. It was hard for her to not look at him, even when he was mad at her. She would steal glances then look away, not having the courage to catch his attention. She wanted to apologize so bad but she knew that Remus would shun her if she did. It was better if she distanced herself from him, avoid him as best she could.

!!xXx!!

That didn't mean she wasn't hurting. Sometimes, it got so bad that she couldn't breathe. Her ache would hold her down until she made herself get up and walk. To her, it seemed pathetic. If not that, then at least overdramatic. This was only a crush and it was affecting her this much. She should be able to easily soldier on. But it still happened. It hurt that he was mad at her and it hurt that he wouldn't acknowledge her and it hurt that she wasn't brave enough and it hurt whenever she thought of him and so many things hurt at the same time with greater intensity with each passing day they didn't speak.

Myra wished that he would just tell her that he hated her. It would've made it easier.

∞-∞-∞

Two weeks past and Remus' chest hurt. He didn't mean to say those things. He wished that Myra wasn't dating Sirius but he knew he shouldn't have been so cold. He wished that he could travel back in time to make things right. He didn't want her out of his life and that's what's been happening.

But he knew that she must feel angry at him for saying those things and angry for pushing her away so he distanced himself. He didn't want Myra angry at him. It didn't feel right, made his head hurt, and his throat sting. Even though he wanted to apologize, he wasn't sure that she would accept it. He thought that it would spare him a bit more extra pain. Focusing has been trouble, nonetheless. His mind always strayed to the one thing he didn't want to think about, making him subconsciously glance around to see if she was there.

Remus wished that she could call him a bastard. It would've eased his tension.

∞-∞-∞

Myyyrraaaaa.....
Hissing.
Drowning.
Burning.
Screaming.

∞-∞-∞

Quiet, padded feet walked across a wooden floor. A door creaked open. A scrape of a chair. A cry for help. A hiss of disapproval. A clamped hand. A bruised arm. Sobs, pleas, cries. Echoing stomps down stone stairs. A ladder dropping down. A chill rising up her spine.

Pain. Darkness.

Darkness. Pain.

Endless cycle. Eternal.

!!xXx!!

∞-∞-∞