Symphony || Remus Lupin

XXXIX

So . . . uh . . . I kind of forgot to publish an entire chapter. Um sorry.

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"You're kidding."

"I'm not. Why the hell would I kid around with something like this?"

"If she hasn't told me yet, why do you think that it's a good idea that you should tell me now?"

"Because it's pretty fucking obvious that she won't go around and ask for help even though she really needs it. You know she's not the one to go after help. You have to force it on her. Gently."

"Gently?"

"Gently."

∞-∞-∞

The rest of the holidays had flown by. Myra enjoyed every single bit. During Christmas, she and the other boys spent the day roaming around outside. Peter had come by on Christmas day but he couldn't stay for long, saying that he had to take care of his mother but that he would see them on the platform. The others were sad to see him go but inside, deep inside of her, she was relieved.

Myra wasn't sure why Peter unnerved her so much and she wasn't sure why she couldn't trust him like the others, but no matter what, something prevented her from fully accepting him as a part of her life. She'd rather just walk away from him. Every time she felt this, she felt absolutely horrible. Why couldn't she make the effort to be friends with Peter? Why did she not like one of Remus' friends? Even when Remus liked her friends, why couldn't she like his? Why was she being so unfair?

When it was time for them to start packing up, Myra could tell that none of them wanted to go back. And she knew exactly why.

"We know that death-eaters are here now," James stated solemnly, his back against the bed. "I can't just leave my parents like this. I don't know if they're going to target the family and I want to be here to protect them."

"I understand that," Myra said, pulling at the thread of her sweater. "I want to protect them too. But we have to finish school. We don't know anything about fighting or dueling spells. We should finish our studies and then decide."

James kicked at his trunk and she flinched.

"I can't wait for that long. Rookwood was this close," He held up his thumb and pointer finger with the smallest gap between them. "She was this close to harming you and Andrews. I don't want to let that happen ever again. I don't want to feel that kind of fear ever again."

"I don't want to feel that either," Myra stood up and held her hands together. "I know exactly how you feel, James. I used to feel that every single day of my life. Not knowing what would happen to the ones you love, what your enemy would do to you, how you would survive the next day. I know how that feels. I'm trying to tell you that even though you want to do something now, you wouldn't do anything except make things worse. You're inexperienced, you don't know any offensive spells, you don't know how these things work. You'd only stand in the way of the people who know what to do. So what we should do now is wait. We finish school, then you become an Auror, and then we'll defend the ones we love. Okay?"

James nodded reluctantly and sat down on the bed. She sat beside him and swung her legs back and forth, waiting for him to say something.

"What did you mean, 'I used to feel that every day?'" Myra stiffened as he continued to speak. "How could you feel that fear every day?"