The Tale of the Death God and Holy Dragon Slayer

Chapter 157

Akuma (POV)
I'm out in the middle of the dessert with Lucy, Natsu, Happy, Romeo, Michelle and of course Tsukiko. We ran into some nice archaeological people who turned Natsu and and I back to normal. Right now we're having lunch.
Romeo- Guys I saw something shiny. You guys hear me?
Natsu- Tasty.
Akuma- Deliciousness.
Tsukiko- It is quite tasteful.
Lucy- Michelle made this all by herself.
Michelle- And there's plenty more so eat up.
Happy- Aren't you gonna have some Romeo?
We eventually pack up and go see what Romeo spotted. What we see is strange.

Lucy- Lets see here.
Happy- What do you think this weird looking thing is?
Romeo- I'm not sure but if I would have to take a guess.......
Michelle- It's some sort of strange door isn't it?
Lucy- Maybe but how do we get it open?
Akuma- How about brute force?!
Natsu- Stand back you guys!
Lucy- Akuma Natsu wait!
Tsukiko- If it kills you, I will not weep.
We both give it a solid magic filled punch at the same time. It begins to glow.
Natsu- Uh oh.
Akuma- Awh damn it.
It redirects our attacks back at us and burns both our hands.
Happy- Sorry buddy but your attack didn't even leave a mark.
Tsukiko- You're an idiot Akuma.
Akuma- (on his knees holding hand) Duly noted.
Lucy- Did honestly believe that wrecking the door was gonna help us? Geez.
Michelle- You suppose there's some sort of trick to it?
Romeo- Hey, is that what I think it is?
Michelle- It looks like a keyhole.

Romeo- Sure does but we don't have a key to open it.
Lucy- I bet I know someone who's totally cut out for this.
She brings forth the celestial spirit Cancer.
Cancer- Hey....baby.
Lucy- You think you can unlock this door for us Cancer?
Cancer- These scissors are the lifeblood of a stylist. It's for cutting hair not picking locks. Kay baby?
Michelle- (waterworks) I feel so terrible. I'm sorry. This is all my fault. Please forgive me.
Cancer- I'm a sucker for tears. I'll do it baby.
Lucy- Well that was easy.
Zack:

Indigo: (bangs head against door)
Zack: I'll take that fourth point now.
Happy- Girls make us weak.
Cancer unlocks the door.

Akuma- Well I'll be dammed.
Natsu- Woah.
Lucy- Wow. Way to go.
Tsukiko- Indeed.
Michelle- Isn't he wonderful?
Cancer- Peace of cake baby.
The door piece thing begins to spin and the ground begins to shake.
Lucy- Uh, I have a bad feeling about this.
Akuma- You always say that. I bet nothing is even going to (giant sinkhole sucks them down) happennnnnnnnnahhhhhhh
I'm the first to hit the sand floor and I get dog plied on from there.
Natsu- Ow........is everybody.......alright?
Happy- Aye......
Romeo- I'm still alive somehow.
Lucy- I thought we were goners. Oh and I told you Akuma..........Akuma?
Akuma (soprano voice)- I.......stand.......corrected.........Tsukiko........of all the places.........you could've landed............why directly did you.........land on my balls?
Tsukiko- Didn't mean to buy you deserved it.
Akuma (soprano voice)- Get off.......please.
She takes her time getting off. When she does, I instantly go to fettle position as I hold onto my balls while they pull Michelle our from the sand. Her upper body was buried in it while her legs were above the ground.
Lucy- You're not hurt are you?
Michelle- No.
Sand proceeds to come out of her mouth like a waterfall.
Akuma *mind*- Oh all the groups, why this one? Could've gone with so many others but noooooooooo. I had to be assigned to this team. This sucks. I've done nothing but get hurt and I haven't fought anyone. Whatever we find down here better be worth it or I'm gonna be pissed.
Indigo: That's the end of this one. Type F in the comments section for the memory of Akuma's balls. Hopefully you guys enjoyed it. Later indigo fam. Peace.