Kigo

On Board, Baby 3

Chapter 3: The Truth Shall Take A Bath

"Moni, I'm home!" Ron shouted as he strolled into the kitchen the next morning.

"Very funny, Ron," Monique muttered as she fed Kim another spoonful of yogurt.

"What? I can't be glad to see my lady and my baby?" Ron teased, draping his arms around them.

"You can call her yours after you've changed a few diapers. As for me, you can just keep dreaming."

"See, if I didn't understand women, that would've really hurt me," Ron sighed. "I was just kidding. You're the one that said I was Kim's Daddy. And I assume you're Kim's Mommy, which makes us..."

"What?" Monique snapped, glaring at him.

Ron's face paled. "...primary caregivers and nothing else."

"Good answer."

"Did I do something wrong before I got here, or is this one of those things that's my fault just because I'm male and exist?"

Monique sighed. "Sorry, Ron. I've got a lot on my mind. I was thinking about calling Kim's mom in a few minutes."

"Oh. Anything I can do?" Ron asked.

"Cross your fingers. And keep Kim company."

Ron blinked. "Okay, but that's less Daddy work and more under the best friend heading."

"Then you shouldn't have any problems, should you?" Monique asked as she left the room.

"Good point." Ron carefully lifted Kim out of her brand new highchair. "Sooo. How far along are we on this whole 'not-peeing-on-people' thing, KP?"

Kim wrinkled her nose indignantly.

"Hey, don't you look at me like that! You're the one that had the accident all over Monique! In fact, since you just ate, I'd better check you now..." Very reluctantly, Ron lifted Kim a little higher and sniffed in the general direction of her bottom. "Hmm. I don't smell anything, so I guess you're clean." His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "Or is that just what you WANT me to think?"

Kim scrunched up her little face. "Wonnie stupidhead!"

"I may be a stupidhead, little lady, but I'm one with the bomb diggity tickling skills!"

Any protests Kim had dissolved into high-pitched laughter as Ron began his assault.

Monique could not remember ever having to use Mrs. Dr. Possible's cell phone number. She liked to keep the line clear for appointments and emergencies only, and Monique had simply never needed her so badly before.
Well, that was wrong. It was Kim who needed here there, in person. But Monique wouldn't be opposed to any baby advice she could offer, having not only done this three times, but having done it once with Kim already.

Monique was not at all surprised when the phone was picked up on the first ring.

"Dr. Possible, how may I help you?" said a pleasant voice.

It occurred to Monique, not for the first time, that someone was eventually going to get the wrong Dr. Possible. Although, between a rocket scientist and a brain surgeon, could you ever really go that wrong?

"Hey, Mrs. P," she said as calmly as she could. No need to worry her right away.

"Oh, Monique! I'm surprised to hear your voice. Is anything wrong at home?"

"I guess that's more a matter of perspective. Things could be better, but they could be worse."

There was only a slight pause. "Has something happened to Kim?" she asked softly.