Blinded By The Darkness

Chapter 9 - Saudade

By four, my eyes were widely opened. I didn't bother taking my bath. I packed two sets of clothes and took my tooth brush. I took the money that Sully had given me and most importantly the piece of paper as proof to show Dr Matt.

Before I left, I kissed Sully on the cheek and left a goodbye note for her explaining how I had to leave before she woke up, I also wrote to her to help me extend my greetings to Ife and Gretel.

I took one last look at the room and then left through the window.

Freedom legit felt good. My adventure had finally begun. I had somewhat had a good and bad feeling about this.

It felt weird to be in the real world all by myself with no one to protect me. I had to admit that shit was scary. I walked towards the roadside and had to wait till dawn until I could sight a cab to take me to the nearest place where I could board a bus to travel to Queens.

The cab arrived there in about thirty minutes. I quickly paid the cab man and got down to search for a bus going to Queens.

Fortunately for me, I found a bus going to Queens that just needed one more passenger. I hastily bought my ticket and got into the bus.

Before I knew it, the journey had started- the journey of a lifetime always began with a simple step. I was on my way to discover who I really was.

All my life, I always thought I was insignificant, I was always bullied by my classmates, looked down upon my friends and never really taken seriously for once.

It was only my dad that made me feel special, like I meant something - but he was gone. I was alone now with no one to trust and no one to depend apart from myself.

It is what it is- I tried convincing myself.

The journey was rather a disturbing one for me. I was sitting down beside a bald old man that kept on snoring. I finally brought out my earphones and blasted my ears with the sound of awesome music.

After a while, I fell asleep at some point with the music still blowing my eardrums away. I woke up to the sound of my stomach rumbling and I remembered that I hadn't eaten anything today.

A glimpse of at the time informed me we still had three remaining hours.

Darn, that was excruciatingly too long.

About thirty minutes later, the driver pulled up at a rest point in order for us, the passengers, to refresh ourselves. I got down and quickly went to the store to get something to eat.

With the little money I had, I bought some chips, cookies and a soda to top it off. After which, I asked the sales boy for the way to the toilet and he described it to me. I found my way there and eased myself.

Accidentally, I saw my reflection in the mirror. I fixatedly glued my eyes to my reflection in the mirror.

This gave me the opportunity to assess all my dents; the zit that permanently turned into a scar, the calories I gained fruitfully over the past years and my discolored unequal pigmented skin.

In summary, I was a huge fat mess. I said to myself"Hmm-"All of a sudden I felt dizzy and lightheaded. I had to grab onto the wash hand basin for support.

Uncannily, a sense of déjà vu washed over me. It was strange because I felt like I wasn't me anymore in a way- I was frozen to the spot.

I had no idea a lot of time had passed until I heard someone banging intermittently on the door.

"Is anyone in there" I heard a voice from outside cry out

Instantly, I was snapped back into reality