I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 4

Song: Finding Hope, "Love"

I had forgotten how handsome he was. If anything, he had improved with age. He looked less like a bean stalk, and must have started going to the gym. It suited him. He looked good in his dress shirt. He didn't wear a tie and it was unfastened down to the second button. As I sat down beside him, I had to resist the urge to run my finger down his throat to the bottom of the V formed by the opening of the garment. Thankfully, I had my computer in front of me to keep me on track. I was so proud of myself for casually inviting him for drinks earlier. I wanted to know what he had been up to. It would be nice if we could renew our friendship. I tried not to get my hopes up and wish for more. Time passed quickly because he was easy to work with. We scheduled our next meeting and then I looked at him. He licked his lips. Why did this feel so familiar? My heart sped up and some of my old nervousness resurfaced. I broke the spell,

"Should we go for drinks? Do you have a favourite place?"

"Yes, there's a great bar around the corner. If you give me a few minutes, I'll pack up."

I got up and put my computer back in my satchel before slinging it across my body. Before long, we were walking down the street towards the bar in companionable silence. We found a table in a quiet corner and ordered a couple of beers. Of course the waitress flirted with him. Some things never change.

"Sai, what have you been up to for the last few years?"

He laughed.

"My Zon, you might have to be a little more specific. It's been, what, two years since we last saw each other? It's a long time to recap in one go."

I blushed at the endearment. Damn! I thought I had grown out of the habit, he must be bringing it out.

"Ah ah. Yes, I guess so" I rubbed my head and and smiled.

"What about you? How is your sister? You parents?"

"Zol? She's well, she finished school and continued writing. She got two books published now. My parents are doing well too. Thank you for asking."

"Does she still write yaoi stories?"

"Ah ah. Not that I know of, I don't think she has the time to be honest. But she has become a big LGBTQ+ advocate and the main character in one of her novel is gay."

I felt a little nervous. I wasn't quite ready to talk about all this yet.

"Good for her! I'll have to look her books up! What about the boys from the football club? Do you guys still hang out? What is everyone up to?"

"You mean the club you barely showed up to?"

"Hey!! I was so skinny back then, I kept getting injured. That's not my fault."

His tone was a little whiny. His big baby side was still there, then. I smiled and raised my hand in apology,

"I know, I know. I was just teasing you"

He hadn't taken me seriously and was smiling back at me. It was nice to know we could still tease each other.

"So, you asked about everyone. Well, Zen has become an editor, and ended up working with my sister on her books. One thing led to another and they moved in together last month."

"Your sister and Zen? I didn't see this coming!! I thought he had a thing for you! I used to be a little jealous of him actually."

What? Jealous of Zen? I could feel my cheeks warming up.

"Huh. No. Turns out you bet on the wrong sibling. He actually has a lot in common with Zol and I'm really happy for them. Natee, of course, was heartbroken about my sister but that didn't last long. He started an entertainment business with Junior and the two of them continue creating chaos wherever they go. It is working them though, and they have become one of the biggest event organizers in the city."

"Ah ah, yes I can imagine these two making a living throwing crazy parties."

"Hmm.. let's see. Who's left. Oh yeah, Thantai finally managed to tie down Japan and the two of them opened the cat cafe downtown. I designed their website."

"Oh I'm happy these two finally got together." He grinned at me and took a sip of his beer. "So, do you still play?"

He didn't need to explain. I knew he was asking if I still played guitar. He taught me back at uni. We even ended up performing together to raise money for the football club. It was a time I tried not to think about. I learned about Zol's webcomic right before the concert and told him about it. Everything changed that day. I still regret running away.

"Yes, I do. I had a great teacher and he would have not been pleased if I stopped practicing."

I looked straight at him and smiled.

"Yes, you did! I'm glad you kept playing."

He grinned again. Gosh, I missed that smile! He looked thoughtful and said,

"I don't have a lot of time to play nowadays but thinking about that time makes me realize I miss playing with you."

An odd expression flashed across his face. Before I could really see it, he bent down his head and looked at his beer.

"Oh, well, thank you. I do too. Maybe we should meet up to play sometime. Although, you might be disappointed at my lack of progress."

He suddenly looked up beaming.

"I'd love that. And you know you could never disappoint me."

I was unsure how to feel about his comment, but I was glad he wanted to meet up though.

"Huh, thanks Sai."