I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 26

Song: Appartment, "Fall into place"

Spending the night with him had been mind-blowing. Spending the morning cooking and chatting with him was subtly, but even more profoundly satisfying. These small moments filled my heart with warmth and love. Yes, love! I had fallen for him at university and those feelings had fully bloomed back. I was aware that he was not exactly the same person as time and life experiences both change everyone. I knew we would have a lot to figure out, but that was the fun and exciting part. I wanted to build something with him using all these shared experiences and moments as a foundation. I was looking forward to the process, the fights, the make-ups, the laughs, to all of it.

I looked at him as we sat on either side of the table. I was sipping coffee, full after eating delicious food, and laughing as he animatedly told me a silly story. I felt sated, both physically and emotionally and for the first time in a while, I wasn't lonely. We did the dishes together again, then sat on the couch with more coffee, enjoying the first relaxed Sunday we'd had in a while for both of us. He had put on some music and was humming along. I rested my head on his shoulder with a contented sigh.

"Errr... Zon...?"

"Yes? Is my head bothering you?"

"No, no, no. Not at all. No, I just... well... I want to ask you something."

I was getting used to his tentativeness. I lifted my head up and looked at him to show I was listening, but he just stared straight ahead, intent on not looking at me. I started to worry, waiting for the other shoe to drop. What was going on? My usual temper flared a little... Oh, for f*ck's sake, just say it! I took a breath. Getting cranky would not help.

"Sai, just tell me, ok? There's no point dragging it out because now I'm starting to worry."

"Oh, no don't! This is nothing bad, well... I don't think it is, but it depends on you because... I mean... you have to answer, so maybe you won't want to, or you'll feel weird, and I don't want that, so it could be bad if that's not what you want, but..."

Oh, god gives me strength! I took his hand and squeezed roughly to interrupt his verbal diarrhea.

"Sai, just spit it out."

He blinked a few times, then his brow furrowed in resolve and he asked me in one breath,

"Arewegoingoutanddoyouwanttobemyboyfriend?"

I didn't dare to laugh. I didn't want him to think I was not taking this seriously. I never thought he could be shy. It was so sweet I almost kissed him, but his expectant, nervous expression told me he needed an answer first.

"Yes."

"Yes? You're really saying yes?"

"Yes, I am really saying yes."

I laughed and he just let out a massive "Whoop!" followed by a fist pump. Then, he looked mortified when he realized he did this all in front of me. What a silly goose!! An adorably silly goose! I couldn't help smile seeing the grin plastered on his face. He took my coffee and put it down on the coffee table before covering me in kisses. I just laughed and kissed him back, too happy to feel self-conscious about the overly sentimental moment.