I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 14

Song: Kang SeungYoon - You (너)

HE SAID YES!!! HE SAID YES!!! I wanted to shout and jump around out of sheer happiness. I felt like I could burst. He said yes to a date!! He said yes! Wait, I hope he realized it is a date...It doesn't matter, he said yes. I was somersaulting inside my head instead of on my bed because he was still talking to me, and I had to pay attention. I was struggling to stay calm, too excited to contain some semi-silent giggles. I breathed in, stopped walking around in circles and fell backward on my bed.

"Sai, are you still there?"

"Yes, sorry. I am just getting into bed. Give me a second to settle down."

I was grinning so much my cheeks hurt, thankfully this wasn't a video call. I scooted under the blankets, reached out and turned off the light.

"Alright, I'm set up. What were you saying?"

Our conversation continued, his rich and soothing voice enveloping me, wrapping itself around my heart inextricably. I wish he was here with me. After so many years and so much heartache, I was surprised at the intensity of my longing for him. I thought time would have dulled it, but it felt as strong as it used to be, if not stronger.

We ended up talking for a couple of hours. Eventually, his answers were scarcer, and his voice fainter until he just stopped replying altogether. He had fallen asleep. I wished we were on video so I could see him. I listened to his breathing and soft little snores for a little bit, and disconnected the call, not wanting him to feel I invaded his privacy. I fell asleep happier than I had been in a long time.

The next few days were a blur of meetings and long hours as one of the projects I managed was nearing its end. We called each other almost every night, and when I couldn't, I made sure to message him and wish him good morning and goodnight. I was falling in love with him all over again, head first and at terminal velocity. Colleagues kept asking me if I was alright, dumbfounded to see me constantly smiling during our gruelling project crunch time. Most of my team thought I had lost it. Maybe I had, I couldn't stop thinking about him.

I got a chance to see him during our next work meeting. A grey dress shirt and jeans were all it took to make my heart race. I hoped my blush wasn't noticeable and I was glad he couldn't read my thoughts. They were definitely unprofessional. His work was amazing and exactly what we had been looking for. Unfortunately, it meant that we were done quickly.

"Sai, I'm glad you like it. I'll add the few modifications we talked about and run the final version by you before going live."

"Ok, that sounds good. I'll circulate that to management to get final approval."

"We will meet again a few weeks after that to discuss problems that come up or any additional requirements you find are needed."

"OK."

"Once that's done, I'll pass everything on to our maintenance team, and they will ensure everything keeps running smoothly."

I couldn't stop myself and said,

"That's too bad, I won't have an excuse to call you anymore."

I could have slapped myself. Instead of stopping there, having absolutely no control over my body, I winked at him. Arrgh!!! What is wrong with me? We're at work!! Thankfully, he laughed at my silliness and smiled.

"Sai, you don't need an excuse to call me, you're welcome to do so anytime."

He was sitting beside me and looked straight at me as he spoke. I gulped... hard.

"Ah ah.. ok, I'll remember you said that."

"I hope so."

Huh?? My mouth went dry, words sticking in my throat. All I could do was smile. When did he get this confidence? I had to take a deep breath before I could wind up the meeting. I was dejected that we couldn't have drinks again since I had to work late. I spent the rest of the day in a morose mood, oblivious to my perplexed coworkers.