I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 23

Song: Why Don't We, "8 letters"

It was still dark when I woke up. I was relaxed and happy. Zon was still tucked against my side, with his head on my shoulder, and the rest of his body flung over me. I couldn't help grinning. Being with him, enjoying his body had been such a profound experience. I've had a fair number of partners, and sex with them had always been pleasant, but I had never felt such a connection. Both my emotions and my body responded to him in a way I didn't fully understand. I'd never had such chemistry with anyone.

I got suddenly worried. What if he got scared or didn't feel the same and walked away again? I don't think I would be able to handle it this time. I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths. I was startled when his hand touched my cheek, wiping a tear. A TEAR?? Oh, for crying out loud, could I be more of a cliche??

"What's going on, baby? Your heart is racing?"

Oh shit, he's awake!!! WAIT!! HE CALLED ME BABY.... OMG... I'M HIS BABY!!! Well, that got me even more teary-eyed, so that's great. What do I do now? How do you tell your lover ... ZON IS MY LOVER... MY LOVER... AAAAGGG!!! Ok ok... Saifah, calm down. How do you tell your lover that they blew your mind and your heart so hard you'll die if they leave you? Yes, yes... I know, my drama queen master level has been unlocked.

Little kisses fell on my neck, my jaw, my mouth and the rest of my face until a small, soft body lay entirely on top of me. I hugged him tightly.

"I don't want to pry, Sai. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to. I just want you to know that you don't have to keep things to yourself anymore. I am here for you."

I hugged him some more and kissed the top of his head.

"It's not that I don't want to tell you, it's that I feel silly. I... well... I am really happy, and when that happens, usually something bad follows. So I started worrying, and thinking...you know...that maybe... I don't know.. that maybe you'd leave again or something."

"Who's being Mr insecure now??" He teased me. "Sai, I don't know what the future holds, but I am not looking for something casual. I want long term and all the works, so you're stuck with me."

Feeling reassured, albeit still mildly silly, I kissed him hard and ran my hands over him, enjoying his warm naked skin against mine. And just like that, I was on fire again.

"Hmmmm, having you naked against me is getting me horny."

"Sai, we're all sticky. You let me go to sleep without showering. Let's get clean first ... so we can get dirty again."

"Yes, sir!"

I didn't wait for him to change his mind. I picked him up and brought him to the bathroom

"Sai, what are you... aaahhh!! Put me down!!"

He held onto me and laughed, trying to wriggle out of my arms, which only got me more excited. I kissed him soundly to keep him from squirming. I was hard as a rock by the time we made it to the bathroom. I set him on his feet to turn the shower on. He hugged me from behind and reached around to take me in his hand. I inhaled sharply. I could feel him harden against my butt. I slowly turned around in his arms and cupped his face with both hands to look at him. His eyes were heated, his hair dishevelled, and his body tense with desire.

"You are the most magnificent creature I've ever met" I kissed his smile.

"Cheesy!!! Let's go shower, I want to go back to bed!"

He let me go and slapped my ass. I stared at him open-mouthed.

"Who are you, wanton man and what have you done with Zon."

"Hmmm... you have no idea how shameless I can be, now hop to it!!"

He pushed me towards the shower stall, laughing at my astonishment. We showered quickly, playfully cleaning each other and using any excuse to touch and grope each other. I went out first, wrapping a towel around my waist to look for fresh bed sheets. He was drying his hair with a towel by the time I came back to the bedroom. We stripped the bed and put a new fitted sheet. We didn't bother making the bed beyond that, unable to wait. Powerless to keep our hands off of each other, we fell down on it in a tangle of limbs and wet towels.