I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 31

Song: David Gray, "This year's love"

I enjoyed this Sunday to a degree I hadn't realized was possible before. Being with him like this, simply and candidly, felt like a dream brought into existence. The day seemed filled with light, as if it flowed freely from the connection growing between us. However, when he asked about planning a trip next weekend, a little bit of darkness crept in. I felt his anxiety rise well beyond its usual state. So I chose to reassure him and told him what I wanted unambiguously, instead of asking him questions. It unsettled me to feel that something was left unsaid. I would have to ask him about it later and allow him to share what troubled him if he wished to do so.

Bringing myself back to the task at hand, I shook off these thoughts and concentrated on cooking. I was still feeling elated after playing music with him. I had not realized how dreadfully I had missed it. He needed more regular guitar practice, but his voice was still as rich and warm as it used to be. It had enveloped me and directly nestled itself back into my heart. I smiled at the cheesy thought.

Seeing him wince as he cut vegetables for our meal, I couldn't help myself and kissed his sore fingers, revelling in the small gesture. While I finished cooking, he set the table. He was more and more at ease in my house, it was wonderful. We chatted about everything and anything while we ate, conversation rolling smoothly from one subject to the next. I had no idea it was possible to be this comfortable with someone. I wasn't unrealistic, I knew this was just the beginning, and we'd likely have fights or difficult times. Still, it was atypical for me to be this unguarded. I liked that very much.

"Sai, this was delicious. You'll have to thank your mom for the hard work she spent teaching you."

The tiny smartass winked at me.

"Ah ah... funny man!! Keep mocking me, and I'll stop feeding you."

The small person pouted, looked at me with big sad eyes, and came towards me. He wrapped his arms around me and looked up.

"Really?"

Ohhh damn!!! There was no way I could resist him when he looked at me this way. I kissed him, feeling his slightly teasing smile as I did. I was so whipped already. Urrrghhh.

My mom would love his sass. Oh zut, I had a bad feeling these two would get along very well and gang up on me. The idea made me smile, and suddenly I couldn't wait for her to visit. OH WTH Saifah!! You're not seriously thinking of introducing him to your mother after dating him for a day!!!??? If you keep going this way, you'll ask him to move in by next weekend. Just keep it together!!! My train of thoughts stopped in its tracks. He had to go home. It was Sunday night, and he'll likely want me to drive him there to get ready for work tomorrow. Suddenly, my heart plummeted all the way down to my socks. I felt downright mopey about this. I tried to keep my face neutral because I didn't want him to worry.

"Come on, Mr, Sassypants, let's do the dishes."

"Ok, I'll wash since you cooked again. I have to earn my meals somehow."

He sauntered off to the kitchen, giggling. It was so endearing, I felt my heart squeeze. I stepped behind him to give him a back hug as he worked in front of the sink. I didn't want to let him go yet. Both our work weeks were hectic, and I likely wouldn't see him until next weekend. It was time to stop being a chicken.

"Zon..."

"Yes,..."

"Hmmm.. we have to work tomorrow so I can drive you back after we're done the dishes."

"Oh..." Did he sound disappointed?

"Or..."

"Or what?"

"Or you could stay over tonight, and I'll drive you home early tomorrow morning."

"Oh, no need." I felt slightly crushed. "I grabbed some stuff for tomorrow when we were at my place. As long as I can iron my shirt, you can just drop me off at work."

WHAT????? HE HAD WHAT?? I seemed to be one step behind him again.

"Oh, ok."

"I wasn't sure what we'd be up to, so I planned just in case I didn't feel like going home."

And with that, he turned around in my arms. He lifted himself on his tippy toes and wrapped his arms around my neck to pull me into a scorching kiss.