I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 9

Song: Raving George feat. Oscar And The Wolf, "You're Mine"

I woke up at the crack of dawn, and the first thing I wanted to do was to text him. I had to force myself to wait. What kind of lunatic texted friends at 5 am? Because that's all we were, so I couldn't just message him at 5 am, right? Urgh. I started getting ready to distract myself. At this rate, I was going to be first in the office, which had never happened before. I got dressed, and had breakfast. Finally, it was an appropriate time to contact him! I didn't get an answer, no big deal. Maybe he was not up yet, or he hated me again. No big deal, not at all!

I got an answer as I was walking to my car, and almost screamed. When did I start behaving like a 15-year-old? Anyway, he seemed busy. If we were dating, I would have offered to meet for breakfast, but since I saw him just yesterday, it would not be appropriate, right? Right, it would be too stalker-y. I sighed. I wish I could call Tor and talk to him about it. But he is Zon's childhood friend, and when Zon and I fell out back then, Tor called me a dumbass. I still don't really know why. After that, he refused to be stuck in the middle and discuss any of it with either of us. So I cannot tell him I've seen Zon again and ask for help. I would get an ear full at best. I'm not really close to anyone else, and I am not asking my mother.

The next few days dragged on like they were filled with lead. I didn't want to text or call and risk annoying him. Oh, I hate waiting! I hate this uncertainty. Maybe I could ask if he wanted to jam on the weekend. But would that be too out of the blue? I was riddled with self-doubt. I was crippled by it. Why did this always happen when I interacted with him? The weekend came and went. I spent it wallowing in self-pity and dragged myself to work on Monday looking like one of these cartoon characters who carry their own little dark cloud over their heads. I was packing up for the day when my phone pinged. I looked at it.

— (Zon) Are you done for the day?

What? Hell no! I didn't hear from you for days, and I get a text with no hello, no explanations. I felt like sulking, and yes, I realize that I am being overly dramatic. Finally what happened registered. He texted me!!!!! HE TEXTED ME!! If my inner self could come out, it would have whacked me on the back of the head.

— (Saifah) Yes, just packing up. What's up?

— (Zon) Dinner?

I.. what? Zon is asking me for dinner? This continued role reversal is unsettling. He is confident and direct, and I'm .... well.... him???

— (Saifah) Sounds good. Where?

— (Zon) I had a meeting a block from your office. I'm downstairs.

He's waiting for me!!!!! I hurried to the elevator almost tripping over my own feet. I spotted him instantly when I reached the lobby. He had his back to me, so I just watched him for a moment. He turned around and saw me. He wore a tight fitted suit today and was so gorgeous I had a hard time swallowing. He looked at me with a dazzling smile lighting his face. How do humans breathe again?

"Hi Sai, I'm sorry for the lack of notice, but I was in the neighbourhood and thought i'd take a chance."

"Hi Zon, I'm glad you texted. What do you want to eat?"

"I'm ok with anything but western food today. Do you know a good local place around here? "

"Yes, there are a couple a few blocks away. Are you ok walking?"

"Yes, definitely."

We started moving while chatting about the week. I asked about his sister, and whether things got better. He said Zol and Zen made up, and she accepted Zen's proposal under the condition that they would wait at least a year before getting married. Zen had no problem with that, and moved back home that morning. Zon looked at me.

"So, it turns out both of them actually wanted the same thing but panicked instead of talking."

Why did it feel like this was also applicable to us?

"I'm glad to hear things are settled between them. You must be happy."

"Yes, I hate it when they fight, especially over miscommunications. And I am happy to I have my couch back. I love Zen, but I could never live with him!"

We both laughed. It turns out prim and proper Zen is a terrible guest when he's depressed, poor Zon. He went on to talk about his week and the conference he attended out of town over the weekend. He had been very busy.

"I'm sorry, I meant to text you to let you know, but between the family drama and our server going down at work, I ran around in a frenzy all week. I only got back to town late last night."

I was elated to hear this because he hadn't been ignoring me. I realized I was beaming and tried to tone it down.

"I figured you were. No worries."