I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 44

Song: Mr. Probz (Robin Schulz Remix) "Waves"

He worried I'd feel coerced into meeting his family for the first time, whereas I imagined him ashamed of introducing me as his boyfriend. I misunderstood him again. Why do I always react in such an inane fashion? I thought I was moving forward, but... urrrrghhh!

Shhhh... I knew what to do... just breathe...

I had been more relaxed since our morning conversation, but in reality, navigating my thoughts was still akin to being caught in a riptide waiting to be pulled under. Phew... breaking out of these patterns was going to take time, effort and help. I sighed and wished there was a magic wand to instantly fix everything... to fix me. But that was just wishful thinking.

Thankfully, he had picked up on my mood right away and offered the comfort that anchored me. I had no clue how to repay him for the great kindness he had shown me all day. Feeling still slightly vulnerable, I held on just a bit longer, soothed by his closeness. At last, I sighed and reluctantly let go. He gave me an assessing look and seemed satisfied with what he saw. With a smile, he took my hand before walking towards the door. Our entrance was heralded with a booming greeting I assumed was typical but startled the heck out of me.

"HELLLOOOO, MAE, PAN... we're here!!"

"Saifah!!! Saifah!!!"

His name was called out by a tiny slip of a woman in her sixties who rushed to him and grabbed his face while standing on tippy toes. Her pleasure at seeing him was evident. He had let go of my hand to wrap her in a bear hug, lifting her off the ground.

"Put me down, you silly boy. Show some respect to your elder."

As he gently settled her back down, she stepped back, still holding his face, "Let me look at you, my boy." He suddenly appeared ten years younger as he answered a litany of questions about his health, eating habits and more. Appeased, the older woman let him go and turned her piercing eyes towards me. I had to resist the urge to half hide behind Saifah like a five-year-old behind his mother.

"And who might you be?"

"Mae, this is..."

She flicked one small hand up and stopped him in his tracks. "Shush! He can speak for himself, can't he?" Her gaze never wavered, pinning me in place. I dug out my best and most polite greeting, stated my full birth name in one breath, and stood at attention, ready to provide any additional information if requested. She could have made a striking general. The man Saifah had called Pan, walked over from the kitchen, wiping his hands on a dishtowel. He flipped it over his shoulder and addressed his wife before greeting me.

"Mae, stop scaring the boy, or he may never come back. Welcome Zon, I am delighted to meet you. Saifah, my boy, it is a treat to see you."

Saifah walked over to hug him, then started to reach back for my hand. Still under Mae's scrutiny, I almost snatched it away and placed it behind my back. Annoyance at my moment of cowardice spurred me on. Determined, I straightened up and stepped forward slightly ahead of Saifah. Without hesitation, I boldly took his hand in mine.

"Thank you for having me. I am very pleased to meet my boyfriend's family, especially since he spoke so highly and fondly of both of you."

I heard Saifah half sputter half gasp as he choked on laughter, that jerk. Pan's eyes widened as a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. For a heartbeat, I thought I miscalculated completely. Silence settled around us as Mae's gaze bore through me. I stood firm, supported by baseless confidence, a daring look in my eyes.

"Oh he's feisty!! I get why you like him. You've always preferred a challenge."

I heard the other two men exhale as I was suddenly embraced by two bands of steel. Phew...