I will never be the same without you...

Chapter 7

Song: Vancouver Sleep Clinic, "Someone to stay"

I TOUCHED HIS HEAD.... What is wrong with me? I couldn't help myself. I was scared when he almost got hurt. It made me realize I couldn't be a coward this time and had to be honest. When I pulled him out of the way, I wanted to wrap myself around him and never let go. I thought I'd gotten over him after all this time, but I was lying to myself. I never did, I'm as much in love with him now as I was then. He will reject me, but that's ok. At least it'll be clear. I'll be able to move on, and be his friend. That's better than nothing.

I got his text as I was opening my front door.

— (Zon) I'm home, in one piece. Zen's here. I'll be in touch.

I cursed Zen and Zol again and wished I could just call him. I wanted to talk to him until I fell asleep. Gosh, I had missed his voice! I put down my bag and headed to my room.

— (Saifah) I'm glad. Take care of Zen. Call me if you need.

— (Zon) Thanks. gn 😊

—(Saifah) gn 🥰

I went to the kitchen to make some food and sat on the couch to eat it. I turned on some music, and caught up with the news. Once I finished my meal, I stretched and my eyes fell on my guitars. I still had the one I played at that charity concert, it was my favourite. I wondered if Zon had kept the bracelet I had made for him. I suddenly felt a little lonely in my quiet apartment. I shook it off, and started getting ready for bed. My phone pinged as I was getting out of the shower. I finished drying myself, put on a pair of shorts and lay down on my bed.

— (Zon) Zen is getting drunk and rowdy, saying he's done, and that he's moving in with me 😭😭😭😭

— (Saifah) yay!! new roomie 😛!!!

— (Zon) don't even jk abt this. He's on beer #2 ... he's a such a lightweight 🤦‍♂️...one more and he should pass out 🤞 .... Zol owes me!

— (Saifah) srly u really think it's going to be ok?

—(Zon) i'm not sure... he's pretty mad. Zol done f*ed up. Can't wait to see her grovel 😈

— (Saifah) that's just mean... maybe u should talk to her...

— (Zon) tbh it's better not to get in the middle of this...not sure how else to help..any idea?🙏

— (Saifah) already struggling w my own life so ... no 🤷‍♂️

— (Zon) damn... 😭 well better go take care of the big baby. ttyl

— (Saifah) have fun...

I dropped my arm down and sprawled like a star fish on the bed. I started to fantasize. If I had asked him out back then, maybe I'd be there with him right now, helping him deal with Zen. How could I have been such an idiot, and just let him get away. AAArghgh ... useless thoughts. I can't change the past so I should concentrate on the future. I brushed my teeth and blissfully fell into bed.

— (Zon) Baby in bed. I'm exhausted. Thanks for being there. Sleep well. 😊

— (Saifah) Anytime. Sweet dreams 😘

I fell asleep thinking about holding him close.