Alien A**holes (Tallest x reader)

5. Sweet deal

"What do you mean?" Questioned the red leader, head tilted in a quizzical manner.

His eyes glowed in a flash of curiosity akin to a cat when he hesitantly drew closer to my holding cell. He seemed unaware of the motion but it didnt seem to change the fact that he was now a little closer to the cage.

"I think we could make a deal. A deal in which we can all benefit" I rationalised, looking between the tall irkens with a smile.

The purple irken looked unamused and continued to munch on his snack. I swear he should have finished those by now. Either he has Mary Poppins' bag or hes just magic.

"Why would we make a deal with an inferior human?" He responded with a mouth full of doughnuts once more. He seemed to chew even louder this time, knowing that I felt uncomfortable by it. What a douche!

I had to suck it up and carry on. If i didnt, i would get nowhere and maybe rot in this cell for the rest of my life.

Really though, how do I even know I'll survive on this giant ship to begin with? I dont even know what kind of lifestyle irkens have, besides the worship for height. It's hard to say whether they even have organs remotely similar to a humans, let alone the diet or other requirements.

I had to at least try. I have nothing to lose if this is the case. I decided to approach the subject in a way that would interest the bratty one of the two. If I couldnt convince him, there was no way I would get home.

"Are those doughnuts?" I quickly changed the subject, pointing towards the snack and already knowing the answer to my question. I just had to get him invested in the conversation and then I can give my proposition.

He looked over. His eyes were much bigger now and no longer narrowed in bitter disgust. It appeared as if his eyes where shining but not in the way his companions were earlier. More like, in excitement.

He leaned closer towards the bars, grabbing onto them like a giddy child.

"Ah! So even lowly humans know about doughnuts!" He yelled, face finally free of food. I wondered what he looked like without a face full of doughnut, or a face devoid of interest. Now I knew. All I had to do was talk about snacks he liked.

My eye twitched at the word "lowly". But I had to make him think that I had something he didnt.

If these two were anything like children, which I dont doubt, they would probably throw a tantrum in knowing I had something better than them. All I had to do was make them believe I did and offer it in exchange for a way back to earth.

"Yeah! Doughnuts are pretty good. Though I'm suprised to see the leaders of an entire race eating such....eh...mediocre snacks" I claimed, leaning against the wall and fiddling with my fingers, pretending not to care.

I think I heard glass shatter. I looked up to see the shocked and angry faces of the two leaders.

"Mediocre!? Have you even tried doughnuts!?!" Pointed the purple leader in accusation. What he was accusing me of was rather unclear.

"Yeah, they're ok. But I've had better. Besides, I've had other flavours of doughnuts. Better flavours." I continued calmly, giving them a side glance and a smirk.

Now I had peaked their interest. The scarlett irken joined in.

"You can get other flavours of doughnut?"

I feigned shock, pushing away from the wall and gripping onto the cell bars. "You've never had other flavours of doughnut. I thought such superior beings wouldve at least tried other flavours of doughnut, let alone other snacks in general."

I turned around to walk towards the back of the cell. The purple leader stopped me in my tracks.

"What kind of snacks?" He questioned, leaning his head closer. Face scrunched up in interest and curiosity.

"Oh you know, the classics. Cheesecake, fudge, ice cream, macaroons, waffles, eclairs..." I continued, naming as many snacks as i could think of, keeping an eye on their response.

"Alright! Enough! Where do we get these snacks!?" Yelled the purple eyed being, clearly unable to keep listening to names of the many snacks he had yet to try. He didnt even hide the desperation in his voice.

"Oh that's the issue" I started, turning to face them with an unfortunate look plastered on my face. "You see, these snacks arent in space. You have to go to Earth to get some. And unfortunately, that's a place you refuse to go."

The purple one interrupted my musing with an exasperated yell. "We can go to Earth!"

His companion grabbed his shoulder just as fast. "Hold on, Purple! Dont forget, Zim is on Earth!" He reminded, face twisting into a scowl and his grip tightening on his shoulder.

"Red, this is snacks we're talking about! We are going to Earth!"

Wait, so their names are literally the colours they wear? Guess that makes things easy.

Purple, I assumed, resumed in pestering the other leader in a consistently annoying attempt to get him to agree.

"No, Purple. We dont have disguises, Zim is on Earth and there is no way it would be so simple to slip past that failure of an Irken!" He claimed, arms dragging down his face in exhaustion and frustration.

I decided to intervene with an idea as well as a jabbing mock.

"Its such a shame you dont have anyone from the planet to go on this little errand for you" I leaned against the wall again as sarcasm laced my tone. I smirked as "Red" glared. He knew what I was doing, that much was clear. I guess he couldn't tolerate it much longer.

"Alright human, what did you have in mind?" He asked with a groan, pinching the space between his eyes.

I smiled, standing up properly and walking over to lock eyes with him.

"Take me to Earth and I'll introduce you to some of the tastiest snacks you'll ever have!"

It took a moment of hesitation but the leaders stern gaze remained. He was unsure of this deal, but it would seem theres only so much of "Purple's" whining that he can handle in a day.

"Fine. Deal" he muttered out angrily, folding his arms in a stubborn manner and backing away from the cage.

I smiled both in relief and excitement. I had my ride home.

"So could you let me out?"

"NOPE" they both yelled, walking out of the dungeon in haste.