Soul Heaven-BTS Reverse Harem

16. Save Me

I'm laying on the sofa when I open my eyes, realized that I must've fallen asleep after having an episode. Yes, I have a mental health problem. I was diagnosed with chronic depression in the past three years due to childhood trauma. I've had several episodes of panic attacks and I've been treated with medications. I survived and it's been a long time since I've had an episode, until now. Bad thing is, he knows. Younggi happens to saw the worst side of me and telling the truth it's something that I'm not willing to do.

"You're awake." A calm deep voice appears. Younggi is sitting on his chair right next to me all this time.

"I-- I slept? For how long?"

"Not sure, probably 20 minutes.." He answers calmly. Then we're both silents.

"Listen, I--" Both of us speak and we're startled.

"You first." He says.

"Um.. I'm sorry. You shouldn't see that. You shouldn't see that side of me, I guess I got too caught up at the moment. I'm sorry." I apologized, feeling guilty to make him witness that. He furrows his brows.

"Why are you apologizing? I'm glad I was there and.." he paused. "I'm sorry, I suppose it was too much for you. I wasn't considerate enough." He finishes.

"No, Younggi you did nothing wrong. I love your work, all of it. I'm just.." I sigh, couldn't explain furthermore.

"You don't have to explain if you don't want to." He adds. I nod, but I still need to tell him at least what happened to me back there.

"Thank you.." I couldn't say it. I just couldn't bear what he might think of me if he knows my issue.

He just nods then he takes my hand, holding it with both hands.

"But, I'm here if you wanna talk about it." He looks into my eyes. His expression is so genuine like he knows what I'm going through. He is so soft and warm, totally different from the cold exterior. But it all makes sense, all those lyrics and songs that he created, and looking at him now, it fits. He's beyond those stages, while I'm not.

"I can't.." I sigh. Another tear came down my face. This time it feels numb. I can no longer feel the pain, but my body is still suffering. I feel empty. He wipes it away as he did before.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"Yeah.. take me home will you?" I answer plainly, with no expression. He nods, understanding.

I get up and feel like my body is heavy.

"Have a drink first." He gestures at a glass of water on the coffee table. I do what he says.

He tidies up his desks and takes his bag as I try to tidy up my hair and look more pleasant. By the time he reaches the door, he turns to me.

"Can you walk?" he asks all of the sudden. Looking concerned.

"Of course, silly. Don't worry." I force a smile to make him feel better but doesn't work. He still looks the same.

He opens the door and finds Yunseok with the same expression. He asks Younggi in Korean that seems like asking about my condition. He replies, assuring him that I'm alright and that he needs him to drive us home. With that, the three of us walk out of the building. Younggi is walking behind me, I can feel he's gawking at me. Making sure I didn't collapse or have another episode. I try to act normal even though my body still feels so heavy.

We're at the car and Younggi's sitting right beside me. For the whole ride home, we didn't say a word, yet he holds my hand. Protecting me. Telling me that he's there the whole time.