Her Rogue

58. Strategies/2

Because I lost Sybilla, now it was me that couldn't communicate verbally in the bond. I could still connect with people telepathically, but it was more of an emotional kind of communication. Which was pretty nice when you were connected with your pack even more.

Losing Sybilla was like losing a limb. I had to relearn everything I would've done with her.

So during lunch, when I would practice with Aliénor about the different images of the visions and with James with the ability to deciphered what Aliénor was saying. I would at the same time, practice my link bond with my grandma.

It was really hard at first, always getting distracted while trying to communicate both verbally and mentally. I had to learn to be patient with myself when the connections didn't easily work like before. I had to learn not to blame anyone other than myself, but most importantly, I had to learn to forgive myself from my past mistakes.

If I hadn't drunk as I did, or taking better care for myself in the past, I wouldn't have been in the situation where my wolf had to choose between saving the life that we had inside of us or herself.

Apparently, Sybilla knew how fragile my body was. She knew that it was likely that my body would not survive getting pregnant again. That all of my healing during the years were enough for this one pregnancy. The doctors said I was in a dangerous pregnancy and that it would be impossible for me to get pregnant again after this one.

Sybilla chose to sacrifice herself for me to be able to have these babies. That stupid dog chose our babies instead of herself. I wanted to hate her for leaving me, but I couldn't. Not when I saw those blurry pictures they give you during the check-up.

When they told me I was going to have twins, I laughed so hard.

Of course, I was going to have twins in the middle of a war, because I have nothing else to do. Malcolm instead was over the moon at first, thinking it was going to be the best thing in the world. But now he was slowly realizing what two babies meant. Double of diapers, double sleeping schedules, double of the work.

Before we left the pack, we asked Lee if he wanted his mole rat back, while understanding that he was going to liberate more than one child for getting Marcus unharmed. Marcus had been demanding that he go back to the 'real Alpha' and saying that it was unconstitutional to keep him on cell, like a dog.

(And kidnapping children was?)

The real Alpha just responded with a text saying "I don't fuck with mole rats,". And a middle finger emoji. Which was funny because Marcus became a mole for Lee. But don't try and make sense with crazy. As always, Lee demonstrating how classy he can be.

Oh, yeah, Lee texts us now. It was like talking to a teenager. He loved emojis and gifs.

So now we had Marcus as a prisoner, who was always unwilling to tell us what we essentially needed but liked to talk. His excuse for turning into someone I didn't recognize was because I made him believe that we were mates.

He even confessed meeting his mate during his time in Uni a few years back but rejected her because he thought we would be mated. And that was the one thing that was on our little 'promise', we would only mate if we haven't found our mates at the age of 35.

So when he heard I had found my mate and decided to keep him, of course, he lost his marbles! The guys had just rejected his mate and expected me to do the same? It was all very confusing.

Marcus then started screaming that he loved me and that I chose him because I secretly loved him all along. Which again, complete bullshit, I chose him because I thought I could trust him and wouldn't need to make all the things that are dictated in a normal relationship. That was a real pain and Malcolm did not like that, he almost killed Marcus on sight.