Her Rogue

18. She has to mate

"She is nervous."

"She is totally nervous. She has to mate."

"I mean... At least he has that? No?"

I roll my eyes to the three women who were sipping their tea in my room. I told them it was fine if they wanted to drink wine, but they don't want to risk it. They came here an hour ago to 'prepare the room for the mating ritual'.

Obviously, they were here because we do not have time to gossip in our day to day, so they took this time.

They were all playing with scented candles and lotions for the skin. Giggling and laughing at their memories and their dirty minds.

"You do know I am right here and I can listen to whatever you are saying," I tell them from the couch. I was only in a baggy shirt, my hair was in a bun and I was reading the online wolf's newspaper, glasses on.

"Sorry Alpha," Alexa says in submission. 

She was the only one. Lilith just rolled her eyes and giggled. Rosie just ignored me. She has been ignoring me since this morning, not looking at my direction nor directly responding.

It doesn't feel good when your best friend is ignoring you and you know it is your fault.

"You have to get ready, dear. Let's go to your bathroom, pour te préparer," Lilith teases and I growl at the three giggling idiots in front of me.

"Stop being so stubborn, Angélique. You promised, you signed the contract," Lilith growled out. She has a strong wolf, and as a mother of two, she has the patience and impatience of it. 

"You are being a child," I hide my smile, still not moving my face, my eyes still glued on the tablet, pretending to be reading the news about a new attack on North America.

"I am not! You are lucky that you are my sister-in-law and I adore you. Or I would've punished you for that," Lorelei and Lilith giggle at that and I feel like they might have spiked their tea with something. 

Even Rosie was trying to cover her laughter.

The door opened, my aunt and grandmother entering. My aunt had concern in her eyes, my grandmother had what I thought was fatigue, but it could be anger. She was still mad about my decision and everybody could feel it.

"I will go for more wine-I mean tea. Um... we already finished the second bottle. Bye," Alexa said, looking for a way out of the conflict. 

Her parents were omegas from a nearby pack. So her true nature was to avert from any danger that could happen. 

That is what I liked about her being my Third with Joshua. She has a safer and calmer way to see the world.

My grandmother just sat next to me on the couch. And started to look at me, making her wolf call to mine. I tried to resist her but gave up when Sybilla started pacing in my head. 

Even though I was the Alpha, she was the eldest, and wolves have respect for them.

"What?" I finally snap at her. Regretting the second later when she glared back. I looked down, losing patience and credibility.

What kind of Alpha am I if I can even make my own choices. If I am always demanded to do things that I don't want to do. I hate this. I hate not having control over my life.

I know she doesn't like the idea of me not getting marked by my mate. And not really wanting to have a mate. And that I am doing this out of respect for her and not because it is "my destiny" or love. 

She is still a romantic at heart and she can't let go of the idea that mates

My grandmother was forcing her Alpha on mine, to make me feel calmer and more docile. She would do this when I would misbehave as a child and I use it when I want to make my speech to calm down the pack.

"Stop!" I yell at my grandma. "Just... Stop!" I yell at all of them. My furry and wolf are coming out on its own.

"I am the fucking Alpha of this Pack. I am the Alpha of the Blood Crest Pack. I swore that no danger would come up while I was in charge. And I am trying to do my job. But y'all are not helping when you tell me what I should or shouldn't do with my mate." 

"A month ago, I believed with my whole soul that the Moon-Goddess didn't give me one because of my job. because I am an Alpha. The Alpha of this Pack!" I spout out of rage, my breathing getting ragged.

"We all know the curse my family has with finding their mates when they are Alphas. I am trying to minimize the damages before it's too late. But you all are so blind by your own stories of your mates. Rosie, I am sorry about your mate, but I am not you, I won't give in to just one man. Mama, you chose to freeze your feelings instead of feeling the death of my grandfather." 

"And the death of my parents. I am not you! I cannot have the luxury to break! I won't do it! Breaking for love is not worth all the damage I can make to the Pack," I stopped. I was breathing hard. 

Tears in my eyes that I refuse to make them fall.

"I am not going to get marked by some wolf that I just met. I am not ready. And y'all should respect my boundaries. I know it is not traditional, but guess what? This fucking pack was never traditional. To resolve all of your issues before you talk to me!" I stopped to get a breath and it dawned on me. 

Bloody Wolfsbane!

I don't remember having or feeling so much anger because of this. 

But now that it was all out I felt terrible. 

I knew it wasn't anger towards somebody, I felt anger at the whole mess of a situation that was my life. 

I had no right to get mad at my grandma or the rest of my family for that matter.

"Do not follow me," I command before jumping out my window of the fourth floor of my room. Changing into my wolf on the way down.