Her Rogue

38. A little walk to the past

I look at her surprised and open my mouth, not knowing what to say. What was this about? I look up at her, which I guess was in complete disgust and fear.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked," Diana looked even more surprised by her own words. "I am really sorry, I just... I need to know how my father really is, you know? It is still very hard to picture my dad with the horrific man you guys described to me. You know? My family is with him, so I really wanted to know who was I leaving for the past 13 months."

I stop her from leaving, grabbing her arm, and giving a small smile. Diana looked up, tears in her eyes

"Wait," I do not know where that came from. "It's fine... And I get it." I say, sitting down into the fresh grass, the sun beaming at us, she follows the lead and waits for me to talk, cleaning the rebel tears that were threatening to fall.

"The whole day I felt on edge." I start, playing with my hands, not really knowing what I was going to continue with. 

Start with what you remember. She deserves to know who her father really is.

I gulp down the nervousness that was building up on my throat and tried talking again.

"I knew something was bound to happen. It had just rained so the whole place smelled like fresh rain..." I stop to look at Diana's face again, hoping to see her disinterest and I could just give her the facts of that day and leave it be.

But she wasn't.

She was listening intensely. She wanted to know.

She needs to know.

"I didn't recognize it at first but my wolf was trying to warn me. I don't know if Rosy explained how we are with our wolves," She shakes her head. 

"But before we turn into a werewolf, we can sense our wolf before it. Not as clearly as when someone completely turns but it is there. It is like a strong sense of other at the back of your head. They can't communicate with words but they can with feelings. My wolf was on edge the whole day at school." I say, glancing at Diana to see what she was doing.  

Diana looked like a child listening to a story her mother was telling her. She wasn't missing a piece of what I was telling her.

"It was only fresh rain that I smelled that day, there was something."

"What was it?" She asks, opening her mouth in a gasp.

"Death. Blood and rogues."

"What are rogues? Rosy didn't have the time to explain it completely." 

"Most of the rogues are just wolves banished from their pack or had to leave it-"

"Like refugees?" She cuts me, making me smile at her enthusiasm. She really was like a child, so different from no-nonsense Rosy. 

is that what the Moon Goddess does? Pair opposites as mates and hope it works out? 

Well if it is, it is dumb.

"Yeah, a little bit like that. The other group is sick, they have been too long without a pack and get a little deranged. They can no longer control their bloodlust and do not listen to an Alpha, which is pretty terrifying, as wolves we are wired to listen to the most powerful to be protected.

"In ancient times it was necessary to have this strong sense of bureaucracy, as you said. Now is mostly just title and we -at least in this pack- don't put people below. People seem to forget, but the Alpha was always supposed to be at the end and in the front only for protection because they were the strongest of the pack."